You will, the sad awful feelings do go away and you will feel like you again, I promise. When I first came here, I was a wreck and although I still have my bad days/patches, now (8 months post him leaving), for the most part I couldn't give a s**t about him or what he's doing anymore. He isn't worth it, anyone that just walks without warning, without trying to resolve anything first, just isn't worth your pain and you to will come to see this, it's a cliche, but it just takes the passage of time.
WTF! Has there ever been a cheater that has left, had the A, then come back and the BS accepts them, and they "make it".
I understand in this scenario there would be a different dynamic to the M, that the W will have to want to really come back, etc.. Just wondering has it ever happened?
floridapad is exploring it now. But he is nowhere near a succesful reconciliation. He's taking it slow ... (the right approach I believe)
Are there any archives here on LS of "success" stories.
__________________ Just remember this, my girl, when you look up in the sky - you can see the stars & still not see the light...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Now it's your turn girl to cry...
WTF! Has there ever been a cheater that has left, had the A, then come back and the BS accepts them, and they "make it".
I understand in this scenario there would be a different dynamic to the M, that the W will have to want to really come back, etc.. Just wondering has it ever happened?
floridapad is exploring it now. But he is nowhere near a succesful reconciliation. He's taking it slow ... (the right approach I believe)
Are there any archives here on LS of "success" stories.
From my LS experiences those success stories are very, very rare. Occasionally people get back together and soon enough it falls apart again. Once in a blue moon it happens but I can't recall such a story on LS right now.
Then there's my ex sister in law. Left husband #1 for #2... years later leaves #2 for #1 again. LOL who knows if they're still together. today.
__________________
Whatever you project, the world will reflect... right back at you.
WTF! Has there ever been a cheater that has left, had the A, then come back and the BS accepts them, and they "make it".
I understand in this scenario there would be a different dynamic to the M, that the W will have to want to really come back, etc.. Just wondering has it ever happened?
floridapad is exploring it now. But he is nowhere near a succesful reconciliation. He's taking it slow ... (the right approach I believe)
Are there any archives here on LS of "success" stories.
I'm still following all your posts. I am so sorry you are hurting so badly.
You are a very wise man, and you know that she isn't with the man-child because of anything you did or didn't do. I know this because I am the OW and I am the exact same age as you and I did the same thing she did.
I think it is some kind of weird ass mid life crisis some ladies and men have. Her A wont last, she will come to her senses and realize how much she has hurt you. Things will never be the same as they were for you but I would never say never. There is always hope. Hang on to your dignity, step away. And let her be. She will come to her senses, and when she does, how lucky for her that you are you and she has that soft spot to land. Right now, you need to find peace for yourself. You are a good man.
PEACE
I'm still following all your posts. I am so sorry you are hurting so badly.
You are a very wise man, and you know that she isn't with the man-child because of anything you did or didn't do. I know this because I am the OW and I am the exact same age as you and I did the same thing she did.
I think it is some kind of weird ass mid life crisis some ladies and men have. Her A wont last, she will come to her senses and realize how much she has hurt you. Things will never be the same as they were for you but I would never say never. There is always hope. Hang on to your dignity, step away. And let her be. She will come to her senses, and when she does, how lucky for her that you are you and she has that soft spot to land. Right now, you need to find peace for yourself. You are a good man.
PEACE
I will probably have some updates to my main (big) threads next week. Kinda quiet for now, other than I can't seem to stop thinking and analyzing everything about the STBXW, myself, and the M. (Awwww!)
When you had your A you did it with a VERY young boy?
Can you PM me so I can discuss it with you further? Might help me to understand what's going on better!!!
OK. I have ONE more meeting next Tuesday with the STBX to notarize a few more D papers that are needed to file with the courts. Then I plan to have NC (ZERO C!) until the day of the court appearance. The most days of consecutive NC so far has been 9 straight. No calling, no texting, no emailing, ... NO asking her son (my step-son, who is still living with me) how she is doing.
OK. I have ONE more meeting next Tuesday with the STBX to notarize a few more D papers that are needed to file with the courts. Then I plan to have NC (ZERO C!) until the day of the court appearance. The most days of consecutive NC so far has been 9 straight. No calling, no texting, no emailing, ... NO asking her son (my step-son, who is still living with me) how she is doing.
I need to be strong...
PEACE!
FL, I remember going through the same thing. When apart, I would have these rose coloured glasses and miss all the things about my exh. But the things I was missing was how he was when we first met. If I really looked at our relationship, I could see that it wasnt that great and had not been for a very long time. I had an image in my head of who I THOUGHT he was, and that is the person I missed. But when I really looked at the relationship and who he was now, I did not want that man!
Everytime he came over to mow the lawn (before we could sell the house), I would spy on him from the window and realize this was not the man I loved. He was mean. He was angry. He was a stranger to me. I didn't miss him for a few days after, and then nostalgia crept back up on me. Part of my constant obsessive thoughts was also my hurt ego. Once I started building my confidence back up, making an effort to start a new better life, and making an effort to move on, I stopped thinking of him as much.
It takes time AND effort to move on. You cant sit there, stocking their facebook page, or website, or probing friends for information on them, and then expect to be "over" it. If you keep looking for information, it's like ripping a bandage off a wound, it keeps reopening the wounds and wont heal. Limit yourself as much as possible from her life, keep the bandage on, and eventually with time and effort, you will heal. You need to make an effort to accept the current situation and move on. This is not easy to do, and obviously you will take some steps forward only to fall back. It's definitely a rollercoaster of emotions. But every time you pick yourself up, dust your pants off, and keep moving forward again, the more strength you build, and the easier things become.
__________________
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When you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock somewhere else.
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I will probably have some updates to my main (big) threads next week. Kinda quiet for now, other than I can't seem to stop thinking and analyzing everything about the STBXW, myself, and the M. (Awwww!)
When you had your A you did it with a VERY young boy?
Can you PM me so I can discuss it with you further? Might help me to understand what's going on better!!!
TY.
PEACE!
I would be happy to email you however I dont know your address??? Sorry new here... let me know.
bbb - It might be because of how your account is set up???
I have the PM option for most users, but not you??? Hmmm, I bet it is in the "My Profile", then "Profile Privacy" menus. Anyone?
Don't worry about it bbb. I just wanted to ask some questions that may not be comfortably answered on a public post. (To maybe help me better understand!)
If you're feeling impatient, you can purchase a month membership for $2.50 and then you'll have instant access to PMs.
No, not feeling impatient, just dont want to air my dirty laundry for all to see.. thank you for this info. honestly, what an amazing network of people here on LS.. you rock.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
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