Hi guys,
I'm sharing a part of the conversation between my current date and I. I really like her. Think I have a chance? I'll try to do this as best as I could from memory...
I hope she don't come to LS....anyway, if you're here. I really do like you alot and I will do whatever I can.
Here goes.
Her (H): I was taken aback when you mention your last R was 13 years. Really very long and I think you have not really put it behind. Sorry if this will make you sad or angry.
Me (M): No worries, I wouldn't be sad or angry. But why do you think I haven't put it behind?
H: From observations..
M: I don't want to lie to you because you are significant to me. The only thing left is just a bit of resentment. But I am glad it happened 'cause it made me met you. I'm also doing whatever it takes to get over and everyday I am better. But you can take all the time you need.
H: I know you are trying hard to get to know me. But I can feel that you also find it difficult and always having to accomodate me which I don't want you to.
M: Remember I said you don't have to change? I meant it. As I man I think I need to put in some effort. But I also believe for us to work, both of us need to sometimes give and sometimes take. Accept each other for what we are.
H: I agree both sides have to give and take to work out. I also do consider what will happen if we are really together but it just made me wonder how you lived for the past 13 years and how the relationship ended up like that
M: We were together when we were very young. Yes I did love her. But I became complacent. So even when I knew she's cheating, I did nothing. Maybe I don't love her that much and were just together out of habit. We did live together for the past years. I am growing up and know my errors which I want to change for myself and not as a point to prove to anybody.
H: Can I ask when it ended? As in how long ago? Months? Years?
M: We officially parted 2 months ago.
H: I have a better picture now. Let's remain status quo for the time being, ok? Give ourselves more time. I don't want you to get hurt again as well.
M: Ok. I understand. Give me a chance and we go through this journey together. Have a good rest!
You just got out of a 2 month relationship. The new girl can obviously sense that you are not over it. She doesn't want to be a rebound. Give yourself some time to heal from the break up. This isn't a conversation that should have to happen in a brand new relationship.
I don't think you have a chance. Or, if you do, maybe in 6-12 months.
I mean come on man.
You ended a 13 year relationship 2 months ago and you're already coming on really strong. The girl rightly thinks she's just a rebound; you seem overly keen to jump straight back into another LTR.
__________________ Suppose we've chosen the wrong god, everytime we got to church we're making him madder and madder. - H J Simpson.
Dude, it wouldnt be fair to her to date you right now. 2 months after 13 YEARS together is nowhere close to enough time to get over a breakup. This girl has probably been through this before, and the guy realizes she isnt anything close to what he wants (after she falls for him, of course), goes back to his ex, or does some other complete douche manuever on her. She knows better than to believe youre ready to date. You arent.
Chill out for a few months, at least 6, and enjoy being single. Think about what you really want in a woman, and just clear your head.
Next time on a date, or when talking to a new woman, dont talk about your ex, dont even bring her up. If the woman asks about it, youve been single for a year and change the subject.
__________________ ADF: People don't lie to spare other people; people lie to spare themselves. Anybody who says, "it's not you, it's me" is beneath contempt.
No, not a first date.
7th date. We met 3 weeks back.
Made the mistake of asking her to be exclusive on Saturday. That's why this talk....
If you wanna keep dating, you CANT tell them you just got out of a 13 year relationship two months ago, and you cannot talk about the ex AT ALL. That is a red flag that will send anyhone running.
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