JL and any other members who might benefit from this thread, I hope you're reading this thread and seeing clearly, what's being expressed. As you can see, you have some wannabe playahs, expressing not only their ineffective techniques with women but also, expressing disdain for women in general.
If you're looking for a viable, mature relationship, these aren't the attitudes or methods, to take.
If you're looking to pump and dump, low self-esteem women, by all means, listen up.
I've come to the conclusion that the guys that are drawn to these techniques and attitudes, leaned this way all along, hence why the "by rote" style of mantras, are such a magnetic draw to certain individuals.
Overall, it's been a fascinating read.
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ETA for "Bump" June 8, 2010!
Gestating in a life-satisfying way.
As you can see, you have some wannabe playahs, expressing not only their ineffective techniques with women but also, expressing disdain for women in general.
I really wish I knew WTF you're talking about. What techniques?
I speak from hard-learned experience. The communication, the nice words, the romantic gifts, they aren't effective when it comes down to basic attraction. Those things are nice when the relationship is going well, but it's all useless and wasted if it's used to establish the relationship.
You may enjoy living in your Danielle Steele world of romance, but I prefer to acknowledge how the real world works, and position myself in it to be more successful than the flower-buying poetry-writing schmo's out there.
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I really wish I knew WTF you're talking about. What techniques?
I speak from hard-learned experience. The communication, the nice words, the romantic gifts, they aren't effective when it comes down to basic attraction. Those things are nice when the relationship is going well, but it's all useless and wasted if it's used to establish the relationship.
You may enjoy living in your Danielle Steele world of romance, but I prefer to acknowledge how the real world works, and position myself in it to be more successful than the flower-buying poetry-writing schmo's out there.
It's really easy to play the jaded cynic. Life ain't so rough unless you personally make it so, by making all the wrong choices.
If your past is full of crazy, low self-esteem women, you have yourself to blame, for picking them. Ask yourself why you're drawn to nutbars...
You and the other, are blatantly from another site, living a mantra that only you understand. If you believe your mantra will "help" these guys, try again. If anything, passing your attitudes to others, will just create more nutbar chaser.
Threebyfate, you just don't get the message I'm trying to convey. This guy has been dating his girlfriend for all of TWO MONTHS. That is way too early to be telling a girl that. It probably startled her because she figured he was spilling his feelings for the wrong reason. Whenever I talk to lady friends or my sister about the so-called jerks/players they dated, they all give me the same answer: That guy was very charming and knew all the right things to say. If this girl had been burned by a player in the past who spoke words of pure gold to her, there was a chance she could see the same scenario playing out all over again.
If your past is full of crazy, low self-esteem women, you have yourself to blame, for picking them. Ask yourself why you're drawn to nutbars...
All women are damaged in some way or form. Some are controlling, some are flakey, some are man-haters, some have been through trauma, and the list keeps going on. I've dated enough women to know that none of them are the perfect princess. If I were to wait for the perfect princess, I'd be making love to my hand every night. Instead, I'll take the least damaged ones I can find.
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You and the other, are blatantly from another site, living a mantra that only you understand.
Woman, the mantra that I understand is again from experience. I don't know who the other guy is, but did you ever stop to think that maybe he ALSO has some experience under his belt?
Your advice on saying romantic things and asking women for dating advice sounds good. But when you actually go out and apply it, it doesn't work. I can't lie to the others on here.
Also, if your advice is genuinely good, I'd like to know how many women YOU'VE been able to attract by following it. I can give you my number: ZERO. However, I did make some female friends, but that's not what I wanted.
Threebyfate, you just don't get the message I'm trying to convey. This guy has been dating his girlfriend for all of TWO MONTHS. That is way too early to be telling a girl that. It probably startled her because she figured he was spilling his feelings for the wrong reason. Whenever I talk to lady friends or my sister about the so-called jerks/players they dated, they all give me the same answer: That guy was very charming and knew all the right things to say. If this girl had been burned by a player in the past who spoke words of pure gold to her, there was a chance she could see the same scenario playing out all over again.
You haven't read what JL wrote, did you? Read it and understand it.
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Originally Posted by JL
Torrance, that is exctly what I am trying to do is set myself apart from the others she has dated and I feel I have been doing a fairly good job.
This wasnt a situation where I felt I was gushing to her. I just dropped a few quick lines found out about a few of her insecurities and that was it. It was more like just letting her know hey Im here because I like you and yes you are becoming special to me.
I told her if that scares her I am sorry, but I cannot possibly go hold it in any longer. I thought it was a nice gesture and just a small step in what I thought was the direction I want this to be headed. I guess I was expecting a similar response, but i got something a bit different than expected...
What's wrong is not what you did, but rather with the way you did it.
Realize that you're dealing with a vulnerable girl. In a sense, you need to be strong for her. Due to her past betrayals, she's going to make it difficult for anyone to put himself in a position to hurt her again. She's going to want someone strong enough to overcome her defenses. She needs a guy who can prove his commitment. You need to pursue and claim her.
I don't mean that you should act like a caveman. I mean that you must be very assertive, confident and direct about what you want. Show no weakness. This girl must be utterly convinced that you are after her and intend to make her yours forever. If she smells a hint of indecisiveness, it's over.
It takes balls of steel to open up to a potential partner. I fully respect anyone who can do so. I have zero respect for men who are too afraid to do so.
I agree with your sentiment, but, it's not that difficult to open yourself to a woman that makes you feel safe about it.
It is however, difficult to open yourself up to the woman the OP is talking about. In this case, he actually has no choice but to either open up or walk away because otherwise he'll lose the plot.
TO the OP I wouldn't choose to do what you did, past experience would urge me to start walking. But I'm not going to criticise you either, because I don't think there is a "right" thing to do in this situation.
If you're sexual with a girl and spending time with her, I think she'll get the picture that you're interested. I think girls understand the motives behind most of what guys do.
If you're sexual with a girl and spending time with her, I think she'll get the picture that you're interested. I think girls understand the motives behind most of what guys do.
Have you ever had a woman completely and utterly into you before they are sexual with you?
I wouldn't say completely and utterly into me, but I've had girls who really put themselves out there to get my attention before being sexual with me. These girls would make themselves look foolish to an extent.
I see opening yourself up to being hurt by fessing up, takes a far stronger man, than one who tries to hide his insecurities. That's what many guys do. They pretend to not care when they actually care a lot.
In opening up, you're using honey to catch the bee, rather than vinegar, which is what the current PUA techniques use. Just one big FAIL!
From some of the comments being made in this thread, some don't have a clue about women. Assumptions are being made that women think like men. Not even close...
The only woman that won't LOVE you opening up like that is the woman that is not that into you. If she is not that into you, she might feel a bit iffy because she doesn't reciprocate those feelings. If that is the case it is much better to know sooner rather than bury your head in the sand.
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