[ash82]

My girlfriend of 2.5 years broke it off with me about a week ago, and I'm a total mess. We had what looked like a perfect relationship, we only ever had a few little fights every now and again (and never to the point where one of us stormed out or spend the night away from each other) We lived together in a house we were renting with thousands of dollars worth of stuff that we purchased together including our dog. This dog is not like a normal dog to people, its our baby and it gets treated like one. We built more then the foundations of a life together, we basically have everything together.


About 3 weeks ago she told me she was unhappy, this came as a total shock to me because 2 weeks before hand she was coming home from work and telling me how much she missed me and doing all those things she normally did. She had even just set up a joint bank account for us to start saving for a house. She explained all the things that she didn't like, I'm a bit lazy and I was not doing things around the house (letting the lawn get overgrown, not helping out much with the house work etc) and the other issue I have with showing my emotions and not spending enough time with her.


I listened to all the things she said and I really did understand what she was saying. I decided that I would change those things not only to make her happy, but also to make me a better person. She was happy she got if off her chest and things seemed normal again. A few days later she told me she still was not happy and she was going to stay at her parents for a few days to clear her head. She left for 2 days and then came back and said we could work it out if I fix up my faults, we made a short list of things for me to work on (eg. Quit smoking, save more money, help out around the house) and that night we went out and had a nice dinner together then went to the movies. We came home and went to bed only 10 mins later she turned on the bed side light, turned to me and told me is was not working. The next day she left for her parents again. At this stage I was sure that it was over and that she was not going to come back. 5 long days went by and then she came home!


She was back for the weekend and she just seemed to mope around the house, every now and then I got a rise outta her and a giggle but I couldn't ignore that fact she seemed sad. I asked her why see was and she told me again its not working, that she does not feel the same and she wanted to end it. She packed up a few overnight bags and left.


She has been gone for a week now and we have spoken a few times, she tells me its just not going to work and that her mind is made up, that she is not even thinking about it anymore, but when she got worked up she blurted out that she re thinks about her decision every day, five minutes later when she had calmed down she was back to the her minds made up and shes not thinking about it story. (a few times we talked about things she has said one thing but then totally contradicted it when shes is worked up)


I don't want to lose this girl, I love her so much and am willing to do whatever it takes. I'm trying not to think that shes going to come back, but my mate come over and I told him. He walked around my house and grabbed a bunch of her stuff and said “If shes so sure its over, why has she not come and taken her stuff, why would she choose to live out of a overnight bag?” I told him she must not have had any time free to do it... he responded by telling me that's rubbish, she works 9 – 5 mon to fri, she has plenty of time to get it. This is true, she only took not even 5% of her stuff. If she had made up her mind why has she not moved her stuff out, it may have only been just over a week, but believe me my ex is very efficient, the girl I know would have moved her stuff out the next day if she know it was final.


Another thing that stops me from believing its over is my past history of relationships. My first long relationship (3 years) I was also dumped because the feelings were gone. I annoyed this girl for a little bit telling her we could fix it, but not even a week went by after I stopped contacting her and met a new girl she came running back to me in tears begging me back. My next relationship lasted for 4 years and again I was dumped because the feelings were gone. I chased her and begged and pleaded to take me back only to be totally treated like I was invisible. Then after a week of giving up, not txting or calls she showed up at my house in tears telling me how much she wanted me back. The good old want what you cant have idea I guess. So only a few days ago I started to leave my ex alone, after 3 days she came around to get the dog to take for a walk and asked me if I was not talking to her. I got worked up and broke down (I was going to make out like I was fine, but I could not do it)


I have done so much reading into all this “getting your ex back” rubbish and the information talks about having no contact with your ex and make her come to you, I don't if I believe this rubbish, but my past relationships both showed that this idea seems to work. I have gone back to trying to be strong and not make contact with her, but half way threw writing this post she called me up to ask what I was up to, what did I do today, how I was feeling. I was just nice, I didn't get upset and I did not bring out anything about the relationship... I just chatted away to her.


Why is she calling me asking these things?


So when it comes down to the hard facts I guess she has only really been gone (with her mind made up) for just over a week, I only lasted 3 days with the whole not contact idea. I really want to hear some peoples thoughts on this break up


Is it over or is she just confused?
Do you think she has really “made up her mind” 100% or she has not made her choice at all?
Should I give up any hope of her coming back? Or should I chill out because she will come back?


And what do you think I should to help my chances of getting her back....


Play the whole “I'm cool with it” and seem fine to her?
Cut off as much contact with her as I can. No calls, texts or visiting her?


I know that no one has the perfect answer, what I'm after is opinions, more so girls that have been in a position like this. I want her back so bad, I don't want to give up hope.


Please help!