Ok, you lost her or him, its been x months. Get on with someone new and feel alright again. Leave it behind now instead of 4 years from now. Don't waste time hurting you could use to reinvent yourself, he or she isn't. Bounce back, now. Its been three months for me and I'm on my feet again. I speak from experience. If I can you can too. Stop licking your wounds. They don't heal that way.
Many of us said "I do" with full committment to be there till death. I am happy to see that in three months you have bounced back and feel great. I still feel that my husband is my true love and I will always love him and want him back. There are many of us who have children too and that complicates things tremendously when your spouse suddenly wants nothing to do with you or what was your family...it is mourning what we had and what we can not affect (the other persons feelings or actions)...so your mourning was short and mine will take longer...I am still wanting to reconcile.
__________________ Love is a grave mental disease. -Plato (427?-348?)
People come on to this site for all sorts of reasons and everybody's situation is unique. It good to hear from people with similar problems who can share their thoughts and advice.
Some people find it easy, others not so. Any support offered is always well received and appreiciated.
I know I will be spending many weeks checking in and looking for lots of information.
I pleased you have moved on so quickly and I'm sure people would like to hear how you achieved this.
People come on to this site for all sorts of reasons and everybody's situation is unique. It good to hear from people with similar problems who can share their thoughts and advice.
Some people find it easy, others not so. Any support offered is always well received and appreiciated.
I know I will be spending many weeks checking in and looking for lots of information.
I pleased you have moved on so quickly and I'm sure people would like to hear how you achieved this.
Yes, How did you do it CBI? Were you pleased to get your D or separation? Were you the one that left? Most of the folks in here were left behind or cheated on (or both) and had what they considered long-term committed loving marriages. They are in pain. I'm sure most are like me where if they could turn back time to BEFORE the spouse betrayed them they would. And I'm sure like me many would have liked ONE chance at a true reconciliation but never got it. Do you think everyone in the world is identical and all can move through something like this at the same speed (i.e., YOUR speed). Please be a little bit more compassionate here on LS CBI. I almost don't believe your post is even true, maybe just a "funny gag" posted here to get your kicks?
Us LSers do not always know where to get the strength or advice or knowledge to move into a "better" place. Like Printer says please do (if you are a betrayed spouse) share how you did this.
THANKS!!
__________________ Just remember this, my girl, when you look up in the sky - you can see the stars & still not see the light...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Now it's your turn girl to cry...
Everyone heals at their own pace and needs to be allowed to do so. I loved my wife with all my heart, if I had been able to move on after three months, I would have hated myself because that would trivialize what she meant to me in my opinion. I'm glad it was so easy for you to pick yourself up, and get the message your trying to convey, but show a little respect for those that still hurt.
TOJAZ
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Ladies and Gentlemen, take my advice. Pull down your pants and slide on the ice! -Dr.Sydney Friedman
Oh, wow! 'Get on with someone new and feel alright again'! Why didn't I think of that? I could have saved myself months of heartache.
Oh, hang on a minute, I almost forgot, it's because my husband and my marriage were, and still are, very special to me. Because he is the love of my life and the only man I have ever truly loved, and because another relationship or love of that depth will not just be waiting for me around the next corner!
Four months since he dropped the bombshell and my brain is still having difficulty even registering that it's over!
I was committed to my husband 'for life'! I expected to grow old with him and for one of us to die in the arms of the other! We had even discussed where to scatter each others ashes.
I guess the difference here is that for some of us the loss of our spouse is like breaking our backs - we are suddenly incapacitated and have no choice but to let it heal in its own time, albeit with a little help from ourselves and if we're lucky a trusted physio and a few friends to lean on!
For others the loss is just a surface scratch or a graze that bleeds for a little while, hurts a tiny bit and is then, very soon afterwards, is all but invisible to the naked eye.
I think most people on here are part of the first group. Lucky you that you are not. I suspect that you were the one who left, or maybe (and please forgive me if I am wrong) your partner just wasn't that special to you in the first place - otherwise how did you manage to replace her so easily?
Even though I am going to have D papers submitted to the courts next week less than 2 & 1/2 months after I got the ILYBINILWY speech from my 47 yr old STBXW, I am still tortured by the suddenness and sickened with sadness. I TRY with all my might to be strong , but every hour of every day I still think of her, even though I know she is with someone else. I have no "hope" of her returning, only because I refuse to let this hope thought enter my head - that would make the pain immeasurably greater. We can still reconcile - D or not. (just not planning on it)
I may be divorced within 100 days or so from the day she asked for a D. Doesn't mean I am ok with it, that I no longer love her, that I am moving on. When I need to talk of it - I use the term "moving forward", not "moving on". And I suspect it may be many months after the D and I still feel like this. Even if I am dating or seeing someone. (I can see it now.)
It would make my life sooooooooo much easier to just turn off the feelings or love for her (like she did for me) - I just can't.
Ok, you lost her or him, its been x months. Get on with someone new and feel alright again. Leave it behind now instead of 4 years from now. Don't waste time hurting you could use to reinvent yourself, he or she isn't. Bounce back, now. Its been three months for me and I'm on my feet again. I speak from experience. If I can you can too. Stop licking your wounds. They don't heal that way.
Well, CB, I guess some of us are here because we really feel like we lost something....it's not a pity party, it's a place to come to share. I'm sure it must feel good to be able to move on after only 3 months, my 15 year relationship with my husband got me replaced in a little under a month. I guess it's good to see him happy, just wish I could get there too. Just as soon as I think I am getting better and moving on, some dramatic event has to happen to pull me right back down to knowing I have to go through it physically alone, but thanks to LS, not emotionally alone.
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Trippi
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"Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards." ~ Soren Kierkegaard
Ok, you lost her or him, its been x months. Get on with someone new and feel alright again. Leave it behind now instead of 4 years from now. Don't waste time hurting you could use to reinvent yourself, he or she isn't. Bounce back, now. Its been three months for me and I'm on my feet again. I speak from experience. If I can you can too. Stop licking your wounds. They don't heal that way.
That's like saying someone who only lost an arm in Iraq is the same as someone who lost a leg, as someone who lost an arm and an leg.
Hey! I only lost an arm! I got over it in nothin' flat.
Each situation is exactly the same and exactly different! Just as every human being ~ seven and half billion of them ~ are.
I appreciate what your trying to convey. I really do.
But for some its just not as easy as picking yourself up, dusting yourself up.
But I really am glad it was for you. I really am!
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I may not be perfect! But, parts of me are pretty awesome, and I'm working on the rest!
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
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