[angie2443]

Originally Posted by Holding-On

This is not Saudi Arabia. .

How the heck did Saudi Arabia enter the picture?? It just feels extreme to bring this in.

[Holding-On]

Originally Posted by angie2443

How the heck did Saudi Arabia enter the picture?? It just feels extreme to bring this in.

It is extreme. Hyperbole, more exactly.
It also seemed extreme to paint a married man having a luncheon with whomever he pleased as improper- like some Southern gossip maven from Gone with the Wind. It seemed those times were past. I pointed out a community where women would be very careful to avoid all hint of impropriety and never eat with men. I mean if you keep taking it to the next level when does it end? Next married men should never work with women, or play tennis with them, or swim together and then so on and so on.

I don't know that all or even most BS would agree with you or most WS/OP would not. Many people would like to think that people have the freedom to lunch with whom they please even if, the MM is "up to something".

However, the additional fact that this is the OP's (x?) MM makes her interest make sense to me.

[redtail]

Billy Crystal's famous line from "When Harry met Sally";

"Men and women can't be friends, the sex part always gets in the way."

Of course, your mileage may vary...

[JaneInVegas]

At my last job I worked with a married couple, Tom and Christine. Tom was a very outgoing social person, and he had a lot of female friends/co-workers. Because Tom and Christine didn't always have the same lunch time, Tom often went to lunch with lots of other female co-workers, sometimes as a group, but most of the time just the 2 of them because of scheduling restrictions. This never bothered Christine in the least, and I always admired her for that. I've known lots of women who would FREAK over their man evening THINKING about lunch with another female.

Whether or not it's an inappropriate relationship is too hard to determine without more information about their situation. Personally, I don't see too much into this.

[NoIDidn't]

I don't see a problem with it considering she is a friend of the couple. They might be having an A, or they might not. But no need to jump to conclusions.

I know a couple where the W is bi and they have a live-in girlfriend that they both "share" a relationship with.

Maybe this is what is going on. Can't really tell just by watching them have lunch.

[ADF]

Originally Posted by kis

Would like to get some opinions on this. I know a married couple who has a single female friend who goes out to eat and shop with them. I recently seen the man out to lunch with the female without the wife. I did not think it was appropriate and it really made me wonder. So am I right or wrong?

Let me put it this way. I have a female friend who is engaged--getting married in June--and I would never consider asking her to go out with me alone. Never mind if my intentions were purely platonic. Asking her out would SEEM inappropriate, and put her in an awkward position.

[seoa]

I've been single female for a large part of my adult life, and it's no fun having no decent male company coz they either get a thing for you, or (mistakenly) think you have a thing for them. For a while I completely gave up, coz friendships with guys seemed to have a max 12 month shelf life, so it seemed a waste of investment...

Then I discovered the key - it works if the man is *happily* married...!

If the wife feels well-loved (I'm talking about "affection" guys, not just sex!) by her man, then she doesn't see you as competition.

If the guy is head over heels for his woman, he doesn't cross his mind that cheating on her might be an option.

Of course, I make a point of making friends with the wife too, once the friendship gets to a certain level, but the primary friendship remains with the guy...

Edit: to qualify - when I say 'happily married' I'm also including other LTRs, in case that needed mentioning....

and... I'm assuming a certain moral character in the guy, an assumption that loving your wife excludes cheating, coz that's a criteria I like in my good friends... And the happy+morals does seem to give those guys a 'blindness' to there being anything more to the friendship than friendship...