[twinklecat]

Does anyone have any advice with this situation. Basically my ex broke up with me on Sunday, I posted about it so not going to post about it further, just makes me upset and angry and every other emotion going through me right now, but I digress.

I'm living under the same roof as the ex, stuck here till February due to others living here also in this house share and someone else has already moved out (same day the ex dropped the bombshell) plus theres a small child living here, man it's a nightmare, so I can't just leave without screwing others in the process.

He's now in the spare room which is next door to my room, well which used to be our room. I've done the whole get your stuff out of my room, ended relationship on facebook and also deleted all photos of him off there too (got in a bit of rage last night and just deleted them all!!!) But it's the fact I see him all the time, and he's also getting extremely "friendly" with one of the other housemates who happens to be female which hurts like a knife through the heart, having to see this.

I've been trying not to start conversation with him, and even ignoring him, but then it just makes the atmosphere awful and I don't want things to turn into an arguement. I would love the possibility of nc right now but in between the mess of this house share and working together, it's just not possible. Should I continue to ignore him while in the house? I just don't know anymore Had such a good day yesterday and felt so good, now back to feeling like useless crap again.

[Lamak]

Sounds like you need a change of scenery, but since you can't move you have to learn to cope with these feelings. No small talk with the ex, but if it's something necessary go for it. Seeing him interact with the other roommate should show you that he isn't worth your time. Journaling/Expressing your feelings (not to him directly) will help seeing him be easier to stand. Also, try to get out and do more so you're not stuck at the house.

[LostInLA]

Dang that really sucks, sorry to hear that!

I was in a similar situation, having to live with my ex from March - August and during that time he started to date a new girl in May. What a jerk (haha I've been saying that a lot lately).

Luckily he moved out early in July and helped pay rent for August. (He's been very cordial about finances.)

Right now 3 - 4 months sounds like a long time when your heart is broken, but it's not really...the time will fly.

Not sure what kind of guy he is but seems like it would be courteous of him to either move but still pay his rent or let you move and pay your portion.

Heartache is hard enough...least he could do is make the situation easier for you!

[twinklecat]

Thanks for the support, it's really appreciated, these forums really have got me through this week.

A bit of an update to the situation.
It seems my ex has moved on already, a long time before. This female housemate, they are together all the time chatting, watching TV, sitting at their computers...TOGETHER.

Tonight I have had to endure them watching youtube, listening to **** like "I will always love you". He was so adamant when he ended things nothing was going on between him and her. If nothing is going on and i'm just heightened with my emeotions at the moment, it's just beyond evil. Who would do things like that??!! She knows fine well how long we have been together, she was one of my best friends till we moved into our house, known her for years, it's just so insensitive, both of them are! Any decent person, whilst living in this situation would back off, at least until we can move out of here. I am so angry and upset right now, and I had such a good day too!

I've also had some work friends voice their opinions about their "friendship" while I was not there, especially over the last few months. While they said it wasn't like they were allover eachother it looked pretty "strange" considering he was supposed to be with me. Wish they had said something before now!!!

I'm looking at the possibility of moving my pc in my bedroom, however the internet seems to be allergic

[LostInLA]

It's amazing how selfish and rude people can be when they are caught up in "feelings."

I don't know about you, but I'm a big believer in karma and what goes around comes around. Just try to find some comfort in that.

If you really can't move out, just do your best to stick to yourself and try to ignore them. Maybe stay at a friends for a few nights a week too?

Good luck, you can do this.

[twinklecat]

Thanks LostInLA I am keeping comfort in the fact of Karma, this will bite him and her on the ass!

I ended up coming home ill from work yesterday as I was about to break down, because I'd heard some things from some friends at work, people asking if him and her were together.

So before I left I told him I needed to talk. I got myself home via taxi (cost an arm and a leg as I live so far away from work) I decided to stay in my room and let him come to me, did not want to pressure him, and he came to talk. I kept it civil and said that for the sake of having to work together just wanted a few things clarified, as it feels like I'm having the **** taken out of me.

He says theres nothing going on they are just friends, which I do believe, whether or not something is going to end up happening between them I guess that's a different story!
So then he goes on to complain how I'd been ignoring him and going off and being "self assertive" and doing things on my own (what does he expect??!) explained that I have always been that person, he helped quite a bit in contributing to me being so dependant on him, which he agreed with. He then also said he still wants to be friends, which I guess is fine for now but when I move out of here I am going to have to cut him out of life, bar having a profressional working relationship with him.

So anyways, this morning I made sure he had left for work before I got up, I have been out with other housemate to get groceries and whatnot, and I'm also going out tonight with friends from work. He's just come home "ill" however he is still picking her up from work later tonight, as befofre he went to his room he asked me to wake him up before I leave to go out. I'm leaving hours before he needs to pick her up, and we have another housemate here who is in tonight so I don't know why he has asked me, unless he's just being nosey?

[CarrieT]

The same thing happened to me with my most recent Ex, but I didn't have to put up with months of it; six weeks was bad enough. But I *so* feel for you!

For me, my Ex and I hadn't had sex for the last 18 months of our relationship and when we broke up, he started bringing chicks home to f**k within earshot of me.

What is happening to you (and what happened to me) is a form of passive aggressive behavior. I think it is important for you to set your boundaries that you live there too. Don't schedule your life around him! Come and go as you please and want.

It is a bit new-agey, but the best thing that I did for me when I was in the apartment with my Ex was envision myself inside a giant white bubble which couldn't be burst or hurt. Emanate strong, positive energy outwards. Believe in Karma and look at the big, big picture of your life -- it is only a few months in what will be YEARS of a fabulous existence. And it will ultimately make you a better, stronger person for enduring what you have to go through.

I feel for you. I really do.