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Relationship slump
I am sure this has been asked before, but...
Relationship Problem:
My long distance relationship of almost year, our conversations have come to the point where they all seem quite dull and stale. Only trading the habitial expressions of affections and some tidbits of our day. I've tried to ask all those different types of questions for couples which is recommended to bring couples closer.. But the conversation didn't feel natural at all. More like I was interviewing him.
What I Want:
I don't want talking to him to feel like a dried up ritual. I want it to be full of rich, interesting, hysterical, and fascinating topics, news, jokes, shared ideals/thoughts, memories, secrets, etc.
But it isn't and most time there a long pause where I am left the one trying to desperately think of something we can talk about and wondering why its so hard
1) What does this mean for us? Are we not compatible?
2) Are there solutions or tips to solve this problem?
Relationship Status:
I am 19 and he is 21. He is very busy in college. Is working 12 hours daily. No longer has a web-cam or camera from two separate unrelated incidents (and unable to replace them being on a college student budget). (and he has never owned a microphone or speakers set) We have not met in person, nor would meeting in person be something do-able for a most likely 5 years. I have very flexible, available time from being in an online GED course living with my parent. I have a webcam and camera. For the past last month he has been coming online- on Instant Message in scarcity. 1 hour max, usually also devoting the time to working on something else (since he accepted a new job) However my problem has existed since a few months before that.
Which does bring me to a related relationship problem:
That even though I have spoken with him about it he doesn't devote his whole attention to me while on IM. But since lately he has been on so rarely, I withdraw from complaining about it because I fear he will just avoid coming on even more in hopes of waiting until he doesn't have as much on his plate. And having him on at all, is good enough.
Anyway, but for quite some time even before the new job. He completely relies on me for the making conversation topics, keeping the conversation going, etc. Which not being an extrovert, I don't really care for having to always be the entertainer or leader of a social interaction. It was not always like this, more in the beginning and at the beginning he would ask questions and bring up topics to me.
So my main problem is the general "relationship slump" we are in, and my secondary problem that I would assume feeds the main issue- Having my partner in all this completely dependent on me and not exactly pulling his own weight in conversation effort/issue.
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