Does Breaking NC really put you RIGHT BACK to square one? I'm approaching 50days of NC, But I really want break it. The urge is strong. I want to know her state of mind........!!
Why am I deluding myself, when will things improve in a more permanent way..?
Each case is unique in it's own merrits but as a general rule I'd say yes it does mess with your head UNLESS you are over them. I also think we lull ourselves into a false sense of security to thinking we are over them when actually were not
I seriously would advise to keep out of contacting them in them even if it's a wee chance you still look at them with doey eyes. It's a large price to pay if your wrong and yes back to square one
Each case is unique in it's own merrits but as a general rule I'd say yes it does mess with your head UNLESS you are over them. I also think we lull ourselves into a false sense of security to thinking we are over them when actually were not
I seriously would advise to keep out of contacting them in them even if it's a wee chance you still look at them with doey eyes. It's a large price to pay if your wrong and yes back to square one
like I say, just my opinion
Totally agree with this!!!!
I thought I was over him enough to hold a friendship with him. Was I ever wrong!!
It sounds to me that you aren't over her yet. I would not recommend contacting her. I promise you that it will only take you back to the beginning all over again.
It's not worth it! Fight against your urge to contact her. Write whatever it is that you wanna say to her down. Write it here if you must. Get it all out. But whatever you do, do not contact her!
It will be a huge mistake if you do. No matter what she says, it will not satisfy your urge.
Please, please, pleeeeease do not contact her!! It'll only hurt worse!! I promise!!!!!
__________________
"There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far."
Each of those months, NC was broken at least once. Every time was a little bit different. I regret all of them though, because I would probably be in a much better state if it hadn't been broken.
It depends on what your REAL expectations are. If you're hoping she'll fall for you again, don't do it. If you genuinely don't have love for her and just want to start a friendship, consider it but wait a couple weeks more. It also depends on what happens during the contact. You might be shocked to learn some new things about your ex and THAT'S what usually puts us back to square one. The way they don't care or haven't seemed to suffer at all or whatever it may be. And even if breaking it didn't seem all that bad at first, you'll start to overanalyze everything she said and everything you said and it will just screw with your head.
Not worth it, IMO. Stay strong. Only break NC if she comes begging for you to come back to her.
I thought I was over him enough to hold a friendship with him. Was I ever wrong!!
It sounds to me that you aren't over her yet. I would not recommend contacting her. I promise you that it will only take you back to the beginning all over again.
It's not worth it! Fight against your urge to contact her. Write whatever it is that you wanna say to her down. Write it here if you must. Get it all out. But whatever you do, do not contact her!
It will be a huge mistake if you do. No matter what she says, it will not satisfy your urge.
Please, please, pleeeeease do not contact her!! It'll only hurt worse!! I promise!!!!!
Your right, I'm not over her. But can't help but the desire I have to feed on the breadcrumbs she has tossed me. I'm so curious to know why she text me, asking I we could talk. And then she uses a freind to try and contact me (very cowardly I know..)
I was doing so good with my NC, but the miniscule breadcrumbs she has fed me has put in a tail spin.
I'm toying with sending a text message that is very neutral and reveals nothing about my state of mind like : " How are you? Do you still want to talk, why? "
It's a difficult one bc I've been/I am in the same position but I've learnt through further heartbreak. My ex texts me 'i love you' once every few days ... She's even gotten my new number from somewhere? My past curiosity was overwhelming. "what if's" "why" ... It's all encompasing and literally zaps your strength thinking about it
Yes I did break nc, I needed to and maybe you need to? What I can tell you is like everyone else says. She is just checking up. She is loosing her power over you and wants/needs to reaffirm that power. Once she has it (and you lose it) she will push you away again.
I needed to make those mistakes to get to 17days nc whilst not reading her emails and texts telling me she 'loves me'
The reality is my friend neither of them do. Not enough to want us back. Sure get in contact but if was a gambling man I would bet my house you will be heartbroken, not straight away but you will
good luck and keep us posted
Last edited by Limbo21; 30th October 2009 at 6:50 AM..
Reason: Damn this iPhone of death
yeah man, fight it. after three months of NC, i broke it. and regretted it ever since. She was nice and polite, but just hearing her speak to me like i was just some other person and not HERS, messed me up bad. i think i actually felt worse after that night then the night she dumped me. Seriously. it was just like reopening the wound and salting it. 50days is something to be proud of. keep it up because you'll feel even better when you hit 100.
Your right, I'm not over her. But can't help but the desire I have to feed on the breadcrumbs she has tossed me. I'm so curious to know why she text me, asking I we could talk. And then she uses a freind to try and contact me (very cowardly I know..)
I was doing so good with my NC, but the miniscule breadcrumbs she has fed me has put in a tail spin.
I'm toying with sending a text message that is very neutral and reveals nothing about my state of mind like : " How are you? Do you still want to talk, why? "
Thanks all of you......
Aw hun, I feel your pain. I really do. That 'desire' that you have to feed off of her breadcrumbs, will turn into wanting more and more and more breadcrumbs to feed off of. When she does not give them to you, you will feel rejected, hurt, heartbroken, all over again.
I am so very proud of the fact that you have gone 50 days NC!!! That's fantastic!! I broke NC, and fell back even harder than I did in the beginning, and now it's only been about a week or so of NC. He tried contacting me last night, but I didn't give in this time.
It might feel good temporarily to contact her. As a matter of fact, i'm positive it'll feel good. But after that feeling goes away, all your left with is a shattered, broken, empty feeling. Even worse than you started out with.
I'm the type of person that needs to learn on my own. Everyone here told me NC NC NC! Do not break NC! I did anyway. I needed to satisfy my urge. In the end, it was a huge mistake. But, if you are anything like me, you'll do it anyway, and learn the hard way.
Please keep us updated! You are sooo incredibly strong for making it as far as you have so far, and you have every right to be very proud of yourself! Think of it as an accomplishment!! You are fighting your own desires, which is in turn (whether you notice it or not) making you a much stronger person!
Does Breaking NC really put you RIGHT BACK to square one? I'm approaching 50days of NC, But I really want break it. The urge is strong. I want to know her state of mind........!!
Why am I deluding myself, when will things improve in a more permanent way..?
Yes. It does.
I got out of a 4.5 year relationship about 3 years ago, so I know exactly what you're going through.
Be strong.
__________________
"I always assumed you were taller, and built like a quarterback" -Star Gazer
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