Have you got any family you could visit? It might be worth slipping out of work today and going to see someone who'll make you a hot coffee and help you to think of something cheery? x
You are not in a normal state. You think it is just grief, but it is actually depression. You need a boost to get out of this state. I have been there. I would wake up crying and would go to bed crying. I didn't see any value or any joy in anything in life just because the one person that I loved was not in my life. I totally understand you. This is not something you can cure by thinking, contemplating, analyzing, crying, talking to friends, or any of that. Just do yourself one favor. See a doctor and get some any depressants. Believe me, I was really against them too, but they helped me tremendously and only when I got out of depression I realized how depressed I was! Also, ask a good friend to just help you in this tough time by taking you to the gym no matter what. Just take you kicking and screaming, yank you out of bed even if he has to use force. Just ask your friend to make you exercise three times a week (I suggest you start playing squash. It helped me very much). I am 100% sure you will feel differently in two weeks.
Finally, let me tell you one last thing. You do care. If you did not care, you would not be posting here. So, all hope is not lost. There is that little boy inside you who still wants to be alive, to laugh and play, to hope and dream, and to love and be loved. So honor that little boy and do it for him.
how do i make this pain go away? honestly thats all i want. i dont care about anything else. i just want to be free again to live my life without thinking about her every ****ing second.
and i know no one has an answer. whatever. maybe ill just float around awhile.
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Last edited by McGrupp; 30th October 2009 at 8:09 PM..
Hi McGrupp. I felt the same way as yours. My husband seems not to care about me anymore. There was point in my life that I wanted to take my life, but I can't. I fear God. There's a simple way to take away your depression. Pray and meditate. It will help you a lot. Take care!
Thankyou AliveandKicking, your reply to me made me well up (I'm very emotional right now). Yes I've had threads but I don't get half the support that McGrupps gets. Some great advice has been given to me and is being given to you (specially by A&K).
I've even compliled a to do checklist so I complete everyday tasks like 'clean teeth, have breakfast and go for a walk' otherwise I'd lie in bed as you are.
I don't want to talk out of term as your very vunerable but you've really gotta listen to these good people on here and help yourself. If your really suicidal as I have been (am) then I'm suprises your even posting it on here. I didn't want anyone to know or take depression tablets cos I didn't want anything to stop me .... Only 1 person has the strength to pick up the pieces and take each 5 mins at a time. I'm envious of you, your only 26 and your getting wonderful advice that I feel I didn't get (certainly not 120+ posts)
I'd like to thank RonniW and Nedved (ad many others) but they don't realise how important there words of support were to me ... Specially Nedved. You have so much support McGrupp.... Use it pls
Last edited by Limbo21; 2nd November 2009 at 12:14 PM..
i dont have any activity to do. i sit in an office alone for 12 hours a day. i sit on the internet. i pine. this is my life and its ending 1 minute at a time.
i want it to end. i do so bad.
Silly man! There is so much more to life! You are hurting because.... well, look at your inactivity! You need to stimulate your life with real goodness, real joy, real happiness. You need to find out what those are for you! It's a quest!
My belief is that there is a balance.... and for this great depression you are in right now, on the other side, there will be great joy. You have to make it through! Don't deny yourself the discovery of true joy in your life!
Will read your previous threads, so that I understand what you are going through.
If you have to be there for so long and your job doesn't keep you busy enough then BRING THINGS TO WORK that you can do. Reading or something. Surf the net. Learn something. Call your grandma. Play a game. Invite people to visit you at work. Go out for lunch. Build something. Fix something. Whatever you are or are not doing there at work everyday is not working, so do something different.
i dont have any activity to do. i sit in an office alone for 12 hours a day. i sit on the internet. i pine. this is my life and its ending 1 minute at a time.
i want it to end. i do so bad.
man didn't you read what I posted on your other thread about how my life is just as boring as yours! come on man, if I can do it, you can as well. Man up get out there and explore the field.
This is something I did, I put a rubber band on my wrist, and Snapped myself REALLY freaking hard when I got depressed or when I started to think of her and it helped. I know that might be weird or funny, but it worked. Tough it out man and live one day at a time.
Thebob
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~Stay strong and everything will be great~
PLEASE DON'T!
McGrupp, I am hurting too but I have to remember that I thought about ending it with at least three others...seriously. Of course whenever you fall in love the next time, you always think that the new person is "the one" My aching heart feels that way as I know yours does. But please believe that you WILL find someone else that will love you and that you will love so much. I look back on the other three and shake my head wondering why I would even think about ending my whole life just for them. Don't give your ex that kind of power....EVER. Hang in there. You are already showing just how strong you are by living thru it each and everyday. You have people who care and are living the same thing as you or already has and are happier now than they ever were with their ex.
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"The best revenge is not giving a damn."
The email you wrote me was wonderful. The years we were together were beautiful and exciting. We had so many great times and we bonded in a way that not many people do. I appreciate your understanding of why I feel I needed to be alone - it means a lot to me that you wrote everything you did. I wasn't sure if you wanted me to respond, I was pretty sure you didn't but after the text message you sent to me on Saturday I realized I must have guessed wrong. I am trying very hard to make respect your feelings as I know you want to respect mine. This whole thing isn't easy for me___ as I have told you before. I want you to be happy and feel fulfilled. I really do. I hope you really meant everything you said in your email. If you did I know you will find everything you are looking for.
the text she is talking about is "the bitch" one. the email, my "have a nice life, im mving on"
i wont respond, but how do i deal with thast finality?
probably shouldnt have posted it ina public forum. my depression just deepened
Last edited by McGrupp; 3rd November 2009 at 2:04 PM..
Do you want her to come after you or do you want to end the pain?
In other words, if a new person entered your life tomorrow who seemed as attractive to you as she does and you had a choice, would you still choose her after all that the two of you have been through? Or would you move on to someone else?
Do you love her or do you love the feelings that she brings?
Do you simply want the pain gone and hence she can get rid of the pain, or would you take her back and still have the pain of her cheating and the pain of the uncertainty?
As for never finding someone like her again, I don't agree with that. Two times I felt that way in life, and both times a better person came along.
__________________ "Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way, the other is to let her have it." --LBJ
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