Isn't it though? Since men are wired to feel love through sex, I guess they'd never feel loved again. Pity.
I think most men can distinguish between a woman who can't have sex yet wants to or a woman who CAN have sex but doesn't want to.
One is a disability, while the other is a rejection.
__________________ "Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way, the other is to let her have it." --LBJ
I think most men can distinguish between a woman who can't have sex yet wants to or a woman who CAN have sex but doesn't want to.
One is a disability, while the other is a rejection.
Yep, that's actually pretty much the definition of abuse - doing (or not doing) something in order to hurt somebody else (either purposefully, or out of laziness and selfishness), and nobody should be expected to put up with this.
Sex is not an after thought. It is a right in a loving relationship. And I say it as someone that's not even that hung up on sex. Even so, the broad implications of sexual rejection would have me contemplate a divorce *very* quickly.
Oh yes I agree. And no one should have to put up with a spouse who wont to their share of helping out around the house or kids, acting like a child and that they are entitled to do something or have something just because they think they deserve it. Abuse of any kind, physical, mental/verbal/emotional etc. A spouse who wants sex or expects it ALL the time no matter how they might treat their partner etc. you know things like that is just plain inexcusable too, and should be brought up in a court of law as well, during a divorce or whatever, just a person who isn't getting any sex from their partner no matter the reason.
__________________ "Never make someone else a priority, that only makes you an option."
BTW isn't that why you'd be in divorce court and using it in your "Ground's for Divorce"??????
Quote:
Originally Posted by EnigmasMuse
Oh yes I agree. And no one should have to put up with a spouse who wont to their share of helping out around the house or kids, acting like a child and that they are entitled to do something or have something just because they think they deserve it. Abuse of any kind, physical, mental/verbal/emotional etc. A spouse who wants sex or expects it ALL the time no matter how they might treat their partner etc. you know things like that is just plain inexcusable too, and should be brought up in a court of law as well, during a divorce or whatever, just a person who isn't getting any sex from their partner no matter the reason.
Oh yes I agree. And no one should have to put up with a spouse who wont to their share of helping out around the house or kids, acting like a child and that they are entitled to do something or have something just because they think they deserve it. Abuse of any kind, physical, mental/verbal/emotional etc. A spouse who wants sex or expects it ALL the time no matter how they might treat their partner etc. you know things like that is just plain inexcusable too, and should be brought up in a court of law as well, during a divorce or whatever, just a person who isn't getting any sex from their partner no matter the reason.
Well, yes.
But, if you do some research around here you will notice that the *majority* of the sexless marriage threads are started by decent men who genuinely attempt to solve the problem - including by doing all of the above (and typically to no avail, while their wifes are perfectly happy with the status quo).
In fact, while I applaud any effort to save a marriage, part of me wishes that many of the posters here were much less caring and understanding and dumped those hos already .
Well, yes.
But, if you do some research around here you will notice that the *majority* of the sexless marriage threads are started by decent men who genuinely attempt to solve the problem - including by doing all of the above (and typically to no avail, while their wifes are perfectly happy with the status quo).
In fact, while I applaud any effort to save a marriage, part of me wishes that many of the posters here were much less caring and understanding and dumped those hos already .
Maybe she was having sex in hopes he would help with the kids/house/chores..... Interesting that it didn't work either....
You know it's so unfortunate so many men around her aren't getting any. I think it's beginning to effect their perspective.
Women know sex is important to men. That's one of the first things we learn and one of the few things we know for certain about men. YOU WANT SEX. We get it.
So if we know this fact, we can deduce that women are not just being heartless when they refuse to have sex KNOWING how important it is to men. I suspect, that maybe just maybe, there were things that led up to the sexlessness in the marriage that perhaps caused the wife to lose interest. IME, which I admit is limited, the sex is the last thing to go. Unfortunately, when the sex goes it's usually the first time the husband realizes there is something wrong. Until then, he's blissfully unaware that his wife is unhappy in any way. Yeah, she may nag and complain, but hey we still get it on every other night so things aren't that bad. As soon as a woman becomes so emotionally shut off from her husband that she no longer wants to have sex with him, all of the sudden there's a problem. All of the sudden there are grounds for divorce based on "allienation of affection" when I submit "alienation of affection" may be the reason the marriage became sexless!
As much as some wives seem clueless as to how crucial sex is to their husband, some husbands REFUSE to take any responsibilty in the decrease or lack of sex in the marriage. Everything is her fault and if she doesn't comply, there are grounds for divorce end of story. It is ridiculous the lack of empathy that goes on around here and the constant back and forth blaming of wives or husbands. Since when are husbands and wives enemies who don't want to make each other happy in the way they wanted to be happy?
If I've learned one thing from LS it's that I had better learn how to do backflips in the bedroom regardless of how my husband treats me and regardless of whether I feel like having sex or not or he may become one of the confused and sexually frustrated men who come here day after day lamenting over the fact that their wives are neglecting them in the bedroom. It's like the #1 topic in this forum!
I would agree with the above logic, if it wasn't for one little glitch:
1) those wifes are unhappy enough not to have sex with their husbands
2) but apparently not unhappy enough to leave the marriage
So, things must not be so bad (for them), after all, eh?
I would agree with the above logic, if it wasn't for one little glitch:
1) those wifes are unhappy enough not to have sex with their husbands
2) but apparently not unhappy enough to leave the marriage
So, things must not be so bad (for them), after all, eh?
Well, as a woman I have to say that we plot more than men. We may want to do something, but we take our time doing it. If I decided to leave my husband, I wouldn't do it this year. I'd wait until the kids were out of the house. Basically, I'd plan my exit strategy years in advance and just grin and bear my unhappiness for the sake my children.
Well, as a woman I have to say that we plot more than men. We may want to do something, but we take our time doing it. If I decided to leave my husband, I wouldn't do it this year. I'd wait until the kids were out of the house. Basically, I'd plan my exit strategy years in advance and just grin and bear my unhappiness for the sake my children.
It doesn't seem that men have that much patience.
well, you just proved the conclusion that you tried to refute earlier - the dissapearance of sex - since it is accompanied with the above-referenced "plotting" - is a legit and smart ground for divorce, after all. Why be patient with someone who has already checked out? I'd strike first, so you don't have any exit strategy .
well, you just proved the conclusion that you tried to refute earlier - the dissapearance of sex - since it is accompanied with the above-referenced "plotting" - is a legit and smart ground for divorce, after all. Why be patient with someone who has already checked out? I'd strike first, so you don't have any exit strategy .
But most men don't. Women are the ones who file for divorce far more often than men.
My wife does all those things. And she also connects in the literal sexual sense with me twice a week or so. However if you eliminate the sex and just leave all that affection - it is like an icy hot. The affection feels great - but without a moderate amount of sex - it leaves the man feeling even MORE sexually frustrated. So it is good and bad in equal amounts when without sex. If however the sex part is good then the affection is pure added joy. For me - sex about 2/week plus 5 nights of pure affection is heaven. That is what we both strive for.
Right now I am in a rare state of mild deprivation - today is day 8. My eldest daughter - 19 - has managed to greatly preturb my lovely wife - which has caused sadness/angst/depression which has breached the stainless steel door of our bedroom and caused her to temporarily shut down. This is part of life - I am just being kind and supportive and loving because sad - is just sad. And it is hard to be very sad and at all aroused for anyone. Even a guy gets that. During this deprivation I am a little less affectionate - which is not nice to wife - so I will make more effort tonight to just suppress my overflowing testosterone and be a nice spooner....
Quote:
Originally Posted by hopeful1980
I do not spoon my BFF. I don't stroke their hair or rub their knees. I don't give them back massages or foot rubs. It's not patronizing because there is plenty of sexual affection that goes no between a husband and wife that is NOT intercourse. You can give love without giving sex. It's unfortunate that you can't FEEL it without having sex, but it's most certainly given.
My wife does all those things. And she also connects in the literal sexual sense with me twice a week or so. However if you eliminate the sex and just leave all that affection - it is like an icy hot. The affection feels great - but without a moderate amount of sex - it leaves the man feeling even MORE sexually frustrated. So it is good and bad in equal amounts when without sex. If however the sex part is good then the affection is pure added joy. For me - sex about 2/week plus 5 nights of pure affection is heaven. That is what we both strive for.
Right now I am in a rare state of mild deprivation - today is day 8. My eldest daughter - 19 - has managed to greatly preturb my lovely wife - which has caused sadness/angst/depression which has breached the stainless steel door of our bedroom and caused her to temporarily shut down. This is part of life - I am just being kind and supportive and loving because sad - is just sad. And it is hard to be very sad and at all aroused for anyone. Even a guy gets that. During this deprivation I am a little less affectionate - which is not nice to wife - so I will make more effort tonight to just suppress my overflowing testosterone and be a nice spooner....
That's very nice of you. I hope she appreciates it.
My brother was murdered a few years ago and my mom confided in me that my dad tried to have sex with her about a week after and she felt as if she would vomit.
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Never fails, and 95% of the times a woman..... 
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