[WTRanger]

Its finally over, and it absolute silence to boot. This is by far the worst way to end things I have ever expereinced. It almost makes me want to call up the old ex's and at least thank them for having the ovaries to at least talk/argue with me. Even the one relationship that ended in a horrific fight was easier to deal with that this. When we as humans are left up to our own devices to "guess" we instinctively guess hyper-negative and keep inflicting ourselves with self created pain. I decided I had enough.

For the last 5 weeks she has decided to ignore everything. Even the most basic and direct questions. Last night I finally "got it" and ended it. I decided that matching her silence with my silence was spineless. I wasn't going to take the silent coward's way like she has. So I sent her a simple message that told her that I absolutely hate being ignored and that I see the situation for what it is. I kept it civil, despite being pissed off. I knew that low blows and name calling wasn't the way to go, even though I really wanted to go that route. I didn't beg for her back, I didn't assume how she feels or thinks, and I just simply stated I enjoyed the time I spent with her and wished her the best in the future. Signed my name and that was it. I didn't draft, and re-draft this thing. I wrote it completely on emotion. Now its over for me, and I can finally get on to real healing instead of healing yet holding onto hope. Hope does indeed die last, and it died for me last night.

I've been all over the emotional range with this particular girl all year, so right now it feels like a weight lifted off my chest. I really don't consider this a failure either. It would only be a failure if i didn't learn anything from this. Believe me, I've learned a lot about myself and other people. I've learned a LOT of red flags that I need to pay attention to in the future.

My advice for anyone out there. Just talk. Just do it. It's no where near as hard as not saying anything. Don't just think of yourself, think of the other person. Sure ignoring someone is easy for you now, and hard for them now but that will always reverse itself at some point in the future. At least respect them enough to tell them the truth. Don't let things die in silence.

Nothing is really solved, well I've solved everything that I can solve. But her? The bury your head in the sand, silent run-away method always, ALWAYS leaves skeletons in your closet that will never be removed until you DEAL with it. Even though I've deleted every way to contact her, I just have this gut feeling she'll come back months down the road. I just know it. This just feels like one of those where the other person always comes back. Usually in the same cowardly way they left.