In Search Of...Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.
Do you put this HUGE list in a profile of some sort ?
When you go on a date do you spend the whole time outlining how wonderful you are ?
You don't need all these words to prove who you are. You just ARE wonderful if you are...( I am not saying you are wonderful , only that to tout your own horn = BORING )
Did it ever occur to you that you might be boring the girl ? If you are great she wont need to be given a list. There will be C H E M I S T R Y . If there is not , well you will be posting on here about whats wrong.
When you go on a date , let HER talk . Be a listener.
I once had a guy talk ONE HOUR AND HALF , non stop , about what he owned . how smart he was , how handsome he thought he was , what jerk the neighbors were , ect , ect .ect. I was like " HEY you wasted 90 minutes of my Cell minutes ! " ( Well to myself of course )
I don't know you and I don't know what you say on dates. I won't judge that you toot your own horn ,,,,but do you ???
Yes, I keep this on a resume that I hand over at the beginning of every date that I go on to save myself the breath. No, I actually prefer listening to someone before opening my mouth. I was feeling kinda down when I worte this and was trying to make myself feel better. I don't always feel that way about myself and I actually find two-way conversation stimulating. But thank you for the reality check.
OP -- you are getting to an age where women truly appreciate who you are and what you bring to the table. The young rarely appreciate such substance. Women in their 30s will be there for the pickings. Truly - you mark my words.
Keep going with your therapy and resolve the issues you know you have so you'll be absolutely ready when she appears.
You sound absolutely fantastic and are obviously intelligent as well as eloquent. You are knockin' my socks off. And that is tough to do, believe me!
Thank you. I've been told by friends that I need to remain patient. I used to have the patience of stone, I've just been feeling antsy lately and I don't know why. I think I feel my prime ticking away which is what scares me.
Thank you all for the great and thoughtful posts. I hit 30 and panic set in so I'm trying to dial it back a bit and be comfortable with myself. I've struggled with depression and anxiety my entire life. I have been working through it and, fortunately, I'm feeling better about me as a whole. I figured a little healthy discussion might give me a different perspective on myself, love, and women.
I liked this site and I knew I would get interesting posts.
you will find someone when the time is right. if you are all the things listed - some gal will be very fortunate to be with you... in the meantime - enjoy your own company.
FYI:
Most of my relationships in the past have been with older women. I can definitely say that I had great times when I connected with an older woman. They seem to be appreciative of someone who is going to be fair and honest with them. I've been known to spend hours on end on the phone and not wanting to hang up. Those are good times.
FYI:
Most of my relationships in the past have been with older women. I can definitely say that I had great times when I connected with an older woman. They seem to be appreciative of someone who is going to be fair and honest with them. I've been known to spend hours on end on the phone and not wanting to hang up. Those are good times.
Damn. You just keep getting better. A man who likes to share AND listen?
Who actually pays attention and is willing to be open and share about needs etc?
You are a gem -- I tell you -- a true one in a million.
In my 20s I never would have appreciated you. i was scatterbrained and not even close to being able the kind of mature relationship you have to offer.
It wasn't until my 30s that I started looking for more substance in that great looking package.
Trust me you haven't wasted any time and you are only on the horizon of your "prime" -- 40 is the new 20 and not only for women Mister.
You are addressing your issues and prior to them becoming a problem in your eventual relationship. Fabulous move on your part and it will be appreciated.
You want to just get your feet wet? Get out to events going on locally on meet up or sites like that. They aren't dates -- but there will be various women there - single and not to interact with. Remember ALL those married women have single friends as well -- you never know how you'll meet the one who ends up lucky enough to partner up with you.
And in the meantime you get out doing something you enjoy, no pressure, with people who enjoy the same things. Win, win, win.
Damn. You just keep getting better. A man who likes to share AND listen?
Who actually pays attention and is willing to be open and share about needs etc?
You are a gem -- I tell you -- a true one in a million.
You flatter me, I'm honestly not used to hearing that.
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In my 20s I never would have appreciated you. i was scatterbrained and not even close to being able the kind of mature relationship you have to offer.
It wasn't until my 30s that I started looking for more substance in that great looking package.
Sadly, I've found this to be the case quite often. It seems to me sometimes that they have to have experienced bad relationships before they will even talk to me. I'm all for experience, but what makes it true that 20-something women don't appreciate that?
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Trust me you haven't wasted any time and you are only on the horizon of your "prime" -- 40 is the new 20 and not only for women Mister.
You are addressing your issues and prior to them becoming a problem in your eventual relationship. Fabulous move on your part and it will be appreciated.
You want to just get your feet wet? Get out to events going on locally on meet up or sites like that. They aren't dates -- but there will be various women there - single and not to interact with. Remember ALL those married women have single friends as well -- you never know how you'll meet the one who ends up lucky enough to partner up with you.
And in the meantime you get out doing something you enjoy, no pressure, with people who enjoy the same things. Win, win, win.
That brings me relief and hope. Thank you, sweetie!
Small note: ending a sentence with a prepositiion is just fine in English. The rule that says you cannot do that dates back to a time when Latin was considered a "perfect" language, and English was supposed to mirror Latin as much as possible. In Latin, ending a sentence with a preposition makes it ungrammatical. In English, that is isn't true. That's because English isn's a romance (i.e. Latin-derived) language. English is Germanic, and in Germanic languages, ending sentences in preposition doesn't screw up the meaning.
deux ex machina.... your summary was brilliant. You have a very good point.
Zansatsu, right off I'd say your description of yourself is too wordy. Not only that, but the way you posted it on here - in just one huge paragraph - is not attractive. That's just my own opinion, but you may want to take into consideration that you may be too wordy.
Let your actions speak for themselves, don't try to word it all out on your profile.
I'd say your description of yourself is too wordy... take into consideration that you may be too wordy.
Oh yeah!?!? Well I think your post isn't too wordy enough!
(I'm just teasing you.)
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Let your actions speak for themselves, don't try to word it all out on your profile.
Seriously though, it was meant to be a stream of consciousness exercise, not a profile post. And I don't talk this much IRL, if I don't know you. But again, no one here would ever, ever believe that Internet = Real Life, Right? Right??
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
And that is tough to do, believe me!
You flatter me, I'm honestly not used to hearing that.
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