I used to work for a state agency that dealt with child support issues, among other things. I was always amazed at how many men would complain about women "threatening" to make them pay child support.
Let's be clear: it is not the woman in question who says you have to pay child support. It is the STATE that says you have to pay child support. Paying child support is a legal duty, not a punishment.
Now, if a woman doesn't go to court, no order to pay child support will be issued. Courts can't enforce the law if they aren't aware of a violation. But legally, a man is required to pay child support regardless of what the mother does or deosn't do.
What is these guys' reasoning process? Should they be free to father children and stick the mothers with the bill? C'mon guys. Get serious.
These men are losers. They don't want to own up to their responsibility. They should be shot.
If you bring a child into this world, you should help support and raise this child. If you don't want to raise the child, that's your decision. But you HAVE to support your child.
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And any lawyer will tell you that the terminology "Child support" is misguided.
Its used by the custodial parent, for whatever they care to do with it. Not a dime need be delegated to the childs needs . Only a few US states allow the court ordered parent to challenge the management of their Child support money.
So gosh the parent who is getting reamed with high support payments whilst the custodial parent gets their nails done and spa treatments , really isnt supporting the child ....but instead well lets just say pampering the account of the custodial parent.
No custodial parent is MANDATED to go to court for support, its optional and that is that. Unless you are on state funded programs for the kids - food stamps, healthcare...etc.
Been there and never asked for a dime for my kids! They were priceless and the best thing to be given from the marital demise. Why ask for custody if you cant prove to the courts you can raise them yourself!! Pull up the boot strings and deal with it. My sons are full grown adults and neither feels that they went without....
Wouldnt it be a wonderful world if the parent who got custody would just be happy and grateful for having the years and special moments with the kids. But then, geee....guess they wouldnt have pretty nails or that luxury car without that support check....
Editors notes: Yes my view point is less then pleasant yet it comes from seeing people of my own gender get greedy and use the kids for financial greed and personal wants. And yes, not a dime went to those kids and it still goes on.....
And any lawyer will tell you that the terminology "Child support" is misguided.
Its used by the custodial parent, for whatever they care to do with it. Not a dime need be delegated to the childs needs . Only a few US states allow the court ordered parent to challenge the management of their Child support money.
So gosh the parent who is getting reamed with high support payments whilst the custodial parent gets their nails done and spa treatments , really isnt supporting the child ....but instead well lets just say pampering the account of the custodial parent.
No custodial parent is MANDATED to go to court for support, its optional and that is that. Unless you are on state funded programs for the kids - food stamps, healthcare...etc.
Been there and never asked for a dime for my kids! They were priceless and the best thing to be given from the marital demise. Why ask for custody if you cant prove to the courts you can raise them yourself!! Pull up the boot strings and deal with it. My sons are full grown adults and neither feels that they went without....
Wouldnt it be a wonderful world if the parent who got custody would just be happy and grateful for having the years and special moments with the kids. But then, geee....guess they wouldnt have pretty nails or that luxury car without that support check....
Editors notes: Yes my view point is less then pleasant yet it comes from seeing people of my own gender get greedy and use the kids for financial greed and personal wants. And yes, not a dime went to those kids and it still goes on.....
Child support is reimbursement to the custodial parent for monies spent.
If I felt like it, I could wallpaper my bathroom with it.
Do you really think a court is going to say the child gets the money to use as they see fit??
Sounds like somebody is married to someone who has to pay child support and he doesn't want to.
Don't have unprotected sex if you aren't willing to pay for the aftermath.
There are plenty of custodial parents who use the child support GRANTED TO THEM BY A COURT for the children. But again, it is reimbursement to the custodial parent.
Every court SHOULD mandate c/s to the custodial parent - whether that be the mom or the dad.
I received c/s for 12 years and NEVER increased it and he got away with a bargain. The courts would have doubled it had we gone through the state system; but I was too anxious to just rid myself of him that we bargained before court. I was stupid and I should have gone back every year I could have to have it upped.
No custodial parent is MANDATED to go to court for support, its optional and that is that. Unless you are on state funded programs for the kids - food stamps, healthcare...etc.
In some states, child support is brought up without the custodial parent even knowing about it. It is not always optional....
In some states, child support is brought up without the custodial parent even knowing about it. It is not always optional....
Can you name the states in which such is true? Sorry but I think that is an inaccurate statement.
It is only mandated when the parent/guardian applies for state funded programs that affect the household.
My sister in law works for legal aid and even she questioned how a custodial parent WOULDNT be advised/informed of court ordered support or the proceedings to seek such .....
Dexter, you are observant and more correct then most will agree too. THe issue sometimes is there are dead beat dads and on the other end of the spectrum is the non custodial parent. Because Society wants to make an example out of Dead beat dads, they deliberately make the ones court ordered to pay, to pay so at ludicrius amounts. And the biggest irony is the custodial parent can take that money and toss it out the window or go to nail and spa treatments if they so chose, because its THEIR compensation for being such a devout parent. I cringe that the purpose of support has no bearing or direct use for the child , the law needs to change and benefit directly the child. For the state to mandate and control a families budget by saying what the non custodial parent can afford is crossing a line. What the state should mandate is family time and make these folks responsible for what really matters in a childs life, the love of both adults who brought the child into the world. But there are times that isnt reasonable or feasible.
Tayla, the amount of child support is a seperate issue. Some men (and it's usually men) do get "reamed." But in most cases, the reason they get reamed is they don't show up in court. Or, if they do, they have no documentation proving their income or expenses. Legally, the court has to award something. So, if the man doesn't come to court or lacks documentation, the court simply awards whatever the mother asks. They have nothing else to go on.
Forgive me, but I think not "asking for a dime" is foolish. Is it really worth risking having your kids go without just so you can brag about what a great mother you are? That's terribly selfish.
Enema, your plan would basically give men the right to force women to have abortions whenever the man wanted them to. That would never pass legal--or moral--muster.
Enema, your plan would basically give men the right to force women to have abortions whenever the man wanted them to. That would never pass legal--or moral--muster.
No. Read it again.
If the woman wants to have the kid, she can. Without his money.
This just gives both sexes equal power in choosing to be a parent.
Enema, I did read it. And your plan would enable men to basically blackmail women into having abortions by threatening to deny financial to children they themselves fathered. Legally, that is coercion.
I used to work for a state agency that dealt with child support issues, among other things. I was always amazed at how many men would complain about women "threatening" to make them pay child support.
Let's be clear: it is not the woman in question who says you have to pay child support. It is the STATE that says you have to pay child support. Paying child support is a legal duty, not a punishment.
Now, if a woman doesn't go to court, no order to pay child support will be issued. Courts can't enforce the law if they aren't aware of a violation. But legally, a man is required to pay child support regardless of what the mother does or deosn't do.
What is these guys' reasoning process? Should they be free to father children and stick the mothers with the bill? C'mon guys. Get serious.
Or am I missing something?
what you are missing is the notion that a majority of mothers, who WILL get custody if they want it, will not entertain the idea of 50/50 custody.
Why? they want the child support money because they know the amount more than well takes care of the children's needs, and pays a portion of her own expenses. I pay my support gladly, but don't tell me they eat and buy clothes at the pricetag of $1,200 a month. Maybe if they were NFL football players, and even then.
what would be the problem with the STATE mandating 50/50 custody? Can someone tell me what would be wrong with that?
I pay my support gladly, but don't tell me they eat and buy clothes at the pricetag of $1,200 a month. Maybe if they were NFL football players, and even then.
Are you insane or just completely obtuse? I pay $150/month for tuition for private school, $200/month for daycare, at least $700 for food and hygiene stuff (two kids) including school lunches. That's over $1000 right there. That doesn't include clothes, school uniforms, the utilities they use, school supplies, dance classes, swimming classes, fundraisers, and Heaven forbid - money to do activities with the kids, etc. Kids are expensive. Get a grip. (In case you're wondering, I only get HALF of what you pay and work my face off).
Last edited by HarmonyHope; 18th November 2009 at 10:29 AM..
People who have been non custodial parents for most of their children's lives have NO idea how much it costs to raise a child. NO IDEA.
My ex pays the states minimum for CS, no health insurance, no tuition, no out of pocket medical expenses like braces, etc. I pay all of that.
Once when my daughter and I returned from a trip abroad, he accused me of using his CP to go to europe. I told him if he could find a way for 2 people to go to europe on 12.00 a day including airfare he should get his own TV show.
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People who have been non custodial parents for most of their children's lives have NO idea how much it costs to raise a child. NO IDEA.
My ex pays the states minimum for CS, no health insurance, no tuition, no out of pocket medical expenses like braces, etc. I pay all of that.
Once when my daughter and I returned from a trip abroad, he accused me of using his CP to go to europe. I told him if he could find a way for 2 people to go to europe on 12.00 a day including airfare he should get his own TV show.
having said all that, what would be wrong with 50/50 custody where each parent pays for the child's expenses when with said parent? that would entail splitting school expenses, day care, medical expenses, etc. It just wouldn't include any child support since both parents would be providing for the children's needs when with them.
so with that, 50/50 custody is fair and one parent doesn't get the shaft when it comes to time with their children....wouldn't you agree?
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