i also send him an email around the time we broke up about cocaine addiction and how people behave and hang out with druggies, he flipped out and sent me text saying he wasnt and addict and blah, anytime i mentioned drugs be became very defensive....... it does make sence what you said that its hard to move on, because ur right its not what it was all about, it didnt become a huge issue until this past summer, when i started questioning why these drug addict freinds where comming around... i hate that he doesnt even consider my feelings and just tells me hes going away with those druggies and says it like its not supposed to bother me, what he think i was gonna say oh have fun, i dont know why he woudl tell me unless he just wanted to antagonize me more...then he said before we make great freinds, and that we arent connecting... also one of his good freinds is a drug dealer i forget to mention that, he deals drugs and doesnt work,
Yeah one of my mates good mates and cousin is a dealer...well only weed and mandy...not good though. So i guess its always on tap for them. Its hard because we love them and bearing in mind we prob know more about the situation and them we know that not even there family are likely to step in and look out for them. See i know my ex is at risk at becoming a recluse and its just going to make him smoke more.
I dont know why...its selfish of them to just pin the blame on us. When we went on our break in march i did the same...sent my ex an email about it all and he flipped out saying this was why he couldnt trust me or tell him anything because i just judge and dont understand and trust him. He gave it up but to be honest looking back now i dont think he did that initially for us i think its because his best mate started seeing someone and it was pretty full on so he was never there for my ex to do it with. He then had a really bad experience on something and said he would cut down etc and thats when things really looked good for us but then again withen like a week he's breaking up with me because of a number of reasons that are my fault...When i read what we are going through and how they make us feel i can see how we must be stupid to still love them and want to be with them...but its hard!! i think we should just smash their heads together...lol
another thing that might have pissed my ex off is i told him i was getting asking professional help, because i called a drug hotline to find out signs and symptoms and stuff. I also told one of my friends that was a cop about the situation, and i told the ex that i told my cop freind this. he kinda got mad over it, and told his freind, i told him let him have words with me cause ill give him a peice of my mind im not afraid of him. my ex for some reason would get pushed around by these guys and whatever they told him to do he would just do it. when i told him that he listens and does what they say, he says no i dont, and doesnt belive they push him around. there is one in particular that runs the show and he jumps when he says somting.
What did the drug line come up with when you told them? Its just a case of them not admitting they have a problem and they dont like us not allowing them to hide from it...even though we only do it because we love them and us as a couple.
most everyone i ask and explain the situation, even my doctor lol, they all think that hes doing drugs, but its so hard for me to convict him with out seeing the physical evidence. I just dont understand how he could throw a relationship away for drugs, if thats the reason. are drug addicts known to break up and give other reasons than drugs. I made sure that when i broke up with him i told him it was because of the drugs and no other reason, because i didnt want him spinning the story to something else. And im not sure to what extent his family knows, i know when they ask he just says its to complicated to explain why we broken up, but one cousin he is close with he prob makes it look like im lying about it or somthing, though that person said at one time that since he was with me he calmed down. i think one of his syblings might have an idea as i was heated once and told them, and they said "you think we didnt know he did that". i also told one of his syblings that his friends were doing drugs in the house.
there is no reason for you to keep questioning your decision. you have your answer.
he chose drugs over you - they always do.
nothing you can say or do will make any of your situation different until HE decides this is a problem he wants to change.
any words he uses or has used are empty - he is a druggy - they lie, cheat and steal for what they want. he removed you from his life because you weren't going along with his plan... which is to do the drugs without you bothering him. that's why he did you a favor.
stay away and stop wondering about him - he'll do it his way until he gets tired of it - which may be never.
i know its just hard to belive that such a otherwise pretty good thing ended over that and that he would try to lie and manipulte me, he just didnt seem like the type, hes a pretty nice guy. I just cant belive i would get tossed aside like that...oh ya one night when he was drunk, we were out and i seen a few guy friends that i know and i was talking to them, and they are decent guys,sucsessful nice, and they are pretty good lookin, and they all like me, and always are happy to see me, well on the walk home my ex said to me in drunk speak, somthing along the lines of, "i know if we broke up those are the kind of guys you could get"...and then said maybe i would be happier with them and maybe there more my type... and he said "they might like you better than i do" whatever that ment, i think he prob wanted to say they might treat you better than i do but prob coudlnt say that. but who knows. but anyway he was like never mind skrew them forget about them.. like he regreted saying that after he said it. again he said this all to me when we where away for a weekend with those druggies
oh ya there was another time last december, we went to one of his druggie freinds xmas party, i thought this would be a regular xmas party but it was pretty much a couple guys there all running into the bathroom all night, I was upset about it and we had an argument and when we got home i was ready to leave him, and was gonna go home, but i started crying and he asked me not to leave, and he also started crying wich was the first and only time i ever seen him cry. and one time i cant remember if it was that night or not, but he said "i used to think you were the one but now im not so sure. we are just from diffent worlds" whatever that ment. but usally these comments about not being together mostly always came hand in hand with fights over drugs
I had the same thing with my male friends. My ex flipped said hownhe wouldn't like going out with me, like clubbing because everyone looks at me an he would only get jealous. He would say the same about if we broke up I would or should be with someone like that! I don't think it's just that easy to
stop thinking about them becaus drugs are involved i love my ex and I can't pretend that i don't plus i also worry a lot about him!! My ex said we were from different worlds as well! Even though for three years we had been spot on. I think it's just how this all changed so quickly, one minute everythings fine and the next I'm on here cause he dumped me!!
Today's a bad day I miss like hell...by not hearing from him it makes me feel like he's doing fine which sucks because I think it hurts more thinking
that I'm feeling this and he's just moving on
do you think they ever might feel hurt when they think of us moving on? it is hard to pretend your moving on i think about him alot almost everyday, i do things to distract myself but when im doing them i still think of him. What will it take for them to relize that what they are doing is so wrong. do they feel bad at all or know in their own minds why they break up occured or do they also belive the lies they spew at us?
its been about three weeks now that i started no contact with him, i have my good days and my bad today i feel lousy, kinda miss him and kinda mad and fustrated i wish i could just get on the phone right now and give him a piece of my mind!
Good for you for staying strong.
And as far as giving him a piece of your mind -- you'd be telling a drug addled brain -- not HIM - and believe me if you did he'd see it as a window to try to manipulate you in some way.
Just don't even go there. Rise above as you have been. You are SO much better off.
I really hope so babe...I can't speak for your ex but bearing in mind ours seem like twins I know one day mine will look back and know he messes up. Like I said in the long run we are better off and in the short term thy are. I think the lies they tell us is them convincing themselves or that's how it seems to
me. Both our arguement started when the drugs were there and they took away the people we fell in love with. Yeah I'm work and i feel better but he's always there in the back of my mind
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