Just know that my love and thoughts are with you. I know that nothing can make this any better right now, but like I told you earlier, when you're ready and feel up to it, I'm here. I'm always here for you just like the others in this forum are here for you. I think of you like my LD sister and this tugs at my heart in a way that you could never know.
__________________ Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth- Baz Luhrmann
I'm really sorry to hear about all of this.
Of all the years of stories I've sifted through on LS, I've always assumed your happy ending would come to fruition ~ and I've always pulled for you.
This is really sad!
I am sure there is nothing more frustrating than being apart from the person you love, and you guys have endured it for so long.
In a regular situation, the two of you might have some brutal words, have a cooling off, then meet for dinner the same night and work through it over the next couple days. Your situation is far from normal, it must have been (and continue to be) so difficult to manage.
I doubt this is the end of your journey together. Marriage is hard enough without the distance and lack of physical time together.
You're incredibly level headed, it's admirable.
You still have a journey ahead of you- maybe it's not the one you've envisioned for so long, but I don't think this is the end of you two. At least I hope for both your sakes that it is not.
All the best,
xo
__________________ "Running around, robbing banks, all whacked on the Scooby Snacks"..... BloodHound Gang (FLC)
I understand what you've written, but please bear with me while I pull for you guys anyways.
I am so so sorry to hear about this IG.
I am aware of how devastating things have been in your Hs country recently, and the level of strain must be immense.
I am sorry that this was the straw that broke the camels back- he's obviously lashing out at you.
I wish there was something that could be done to make everything better. Frustration is a horrible emotion to deal with, and it sounds like you guys have had more than enough of that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trialbyfire
YOU, haven't done enough? If that isn't someone lashing out from anger/insecurity and fear, I don't know what is.
I agree. You have done SO much, that your own health has suffered as a result. I don't think you could EVER EVER blame yourself for not "doing enough".
You fought long and hard for your marriage, with determination and grace, and you have carried on LONG after many would have given up.
I have always admired you and your dedication to your marriage and the often impossible obstacles that stood in your way.
I for one will never judge you for deciding after facing this most recent hurdle- 'enough is enough'- YOU matter too, and as your friend I would hate to see you run yourself into the ground any more.
Look after yourself, and know that you are a wonderful person with many admirers and well wishers around the world.
__________________
Wonderbaby born 22.10.09, 10lb.
Sometimes, life throws curve balls at you from every direction, so much so, that there doesn't appear to be any hope left. You feel like no matter what, you can't dig yourself out from under.
I suspect that's how he feels right now. Between the stress of his current environment and the stress of maintaining your incredible relationship, maybe he feels like curling up into a ball, ignoring the world and just sleep, dear sleep.
I also suspect that with things so close to happening, each minute and day, he'll have to uproot himself from his comfort zone, no matter how detrimental, and start a new life with you.
This doesn't make his reaction acceptable. If anything, he should also be thinking about you and how much this has affected like you, including your health, as sb states.
You two have more love between you than anyone I know. If you consider how much I idolize my parents and their relationship, that's a hella' compliment. This isn't the end. I have faith in the two of you but most of all, I have faith in your IG. No matter what happens, you'll handle it and handle it well. It's not over.
Island Girl, I am truly sorry to read what has happened between you and your husband. Quite heartbreaking. I know you will be OK, though. You are very strong. In fact, you kept me going through some of the hardest times in my own LDR!!! You are one of the gems on this site.. you give amazing advice and you are a very admirable person.
IG,
I dont post much but I always read these forums and I have always followed your story. You are someone to look up to, and it seems to me that you are a very strong person, so I am sure you took the right decision. If things are meant to be, they will happen.
I hope everything turns out well. I wish you well.
IG, I am so stunned by this thread that I cannot say a word for a while. Your endeavour and devotedness have been so admired by me! Oh, I have not done up to 20% of it.
All along, I have gained much courage in strengthening myself and the relationship when I see you as my guide. Even at times when things suck, I still keep working through in order to reach the light at the end of the tunnel.
Please let your feeling release through this moment. You must be able to see the whole situation in a new light after the thunder storm. I am always there to support you though I dont say lots of words often.
I still hold the belief that the day must still come, when the darkness is over.........................!
I don't really frequent this board all too often anymore, but when I saw the title of your thread, I just had to read it. I surely did not expect to read what I did. I honestly don't know what to say. My heart just sank while reading this. I can't even imagine what you must be feeling! I know that when you say something you usually mean it, but I just can't believe that this is over....not yet sweetie. Maybe that's the wrong thing to say and I know only you know your situation best, but I just can't see this as over yet. Whatever happens, just know that I'm thinking about you and hoping this thing turns around.
__________________
Somewhere there's someone who dreams of your smile,
And finds in your presence that life is worth while,
So when you are lonely, remember it's true:
Somebody, somewhere is thinking of you.
I imagine that whatever has happened between the two of you is a monumental turning point. I know you would not throw in the towel for any less reason.
Know that my thoughts and prayers are with you. And we're all here if you need us.
I had to read this thread a couple of times to make sure I wasn't imagining things.
I'm shocked. Truly, deeply shocked.
The coherent, logical, caring and considered advice you have given so many people over time has been testimony to your own steadfast, rooted resolve to endure whatever purlers have been thrown you with a steady hand and a brave heart.
Truly, something of cataclysmic proportions must have occurred to throw this so far off kilter as to make it irretrievable.
Truly, I am as devastated as anyone could be, for you. Unbelievable...so near, and yet....
My mother always says "When you've reached the end of your tether - tie a knot in it and hang on"....but I guess even this knot has slipped, huh...?
What a fool. What an almighty, ungrateful fool.
Sad, so very, very sad for you, IG.
__________________ There can be no Peace, Joy or Contentment in your heart, if the things you say are different to the things you do.
" A cross between a new age Buddhist Monk and Xena the Warrior Princess" GrayClouds.Caliguy's No Contact Guide.
I think that you can do so much better than this guy, anyway. Are you sure he wasn't just after a green card?
It doesn't sound from his behavior like he is really in love.
I think that you can do so much better than this guy, anyway. Are you sure he wasn't just after a green card?
It doesn't sound from his behavior like he is really in love.
If you don't have anything intelligent to say, why would you post? They've been going at this for over half a decade. I'm fairly certain that if all he wanted was a green card then he would have found an alternate route by now. Doing what they have been doing requires immense amount of love and trust between the two of them. Something you obviously didn't care to read about BEFORE you posted something like this.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
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