Cheating, Flirting, and JealousyBeing unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.
If you were the one who cheated would you really tell? I mean all of you have stated nothing but tell the OP but I'm sure some chose not to and still have a life.
I don't think I would tell. For what, so I can pass a burden to the person and put a bitter taste in his future relationships?? I don't think so unless someone were to blackmail me into it.
Would I want to know? Only if it has to do with endangering my health than yes, otherwise no.
Plus what's the difference if the OP breaks ups whether you tell or not, you still did it, it's not like it's gonna get something good from it.
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Don't live your life with regrets but live your life to the fullest......
Again, I don't understand your use of "OP," but yes - I would tell. I cheated on my SOB cheater XH at the tail-end of our marriage. I told him about it. Why? HONESTLY - at the time, I thought that maybe we could still fix things and the only way to do that was by clearing the air. If you want to move forward and keep the relationship, then I think it's wise to tell your SO. But I guess if you plan to break up with them anyway (and don't want to poison the well, so to speak), then sure - don't tell them. But out of respect for an SO you plan to keep - yes, I think it's a good idea to tell them. Give them the option of whether or not to stay with you.
I would not tell, because I would not do it in the first place to have anything to tell about. If I did however, I truly do believe that the only honorable thing to do is to at least let the person who's trust I've betrayed know what I have done.
More than once in my life I have done what I felt was the right thing to do. The right thing; not the right thing for me.
samsungxoxo, a friend of mine has the same thinking as you.
He brought up a good analogy which got us thinking.
He said just imagine if your parents are in their last years and all the while the son/daughter which they think so highly of was in actual fact a bastard/whore (for example). Will you tell them this fact?
To me, I will tell. Because I was brought up by a 'samurai' like father and he taught me the value of loyalty, of owning up if a mistake was made.
Yup that's a good anology alright. In that case, I would keep it to myself. I know for sure my father would simply not want anything to do with me if I were a whore. What girl's father would want to know that??
The use of OP was just an illustration of how I see things from my point of view and what I would do in that case.
Yup that's a good anology alright. In that case, I would keep it to myself. I know for sure my father would simply not want anything to do with me if I were a whore. What girl's father would want to know that??
The use of OP was just an illustration of how I see things from my point of view and what I would do in that case.
Yes, I would tell. Why? Because I've done the Not Telling before, and it wasn't fair... and caused major suckage later in the relationship.
Not telling is the selfish route, because your just trying to avoid consequences. Oh... wait your sparing your partner the pain... right?
Whatever, it hurts for a time... but then they heal and move on.
Or... you could not tell, and make damn sure your partner never gets a chance to choose what kind of partner they want. I'm sure that option appeals to all of the control freaks out there.
Tell, the sooner the better. Remember, it's not the act, but the coverup that dooms you.
If two people know a "secret", it will only remain a "secret" until the other person tells. You, have no control over who the other person will talk to.
I'll give you an example. On another board I belong to, a man whose been married for 23 years, just found out his wife cheated on him several times after they first got married. Now for 20 years, his wife remained true, and he thought he had the perfect marriage, kids, home, financial stability, then BAM! He finds out from a third party what his wife did 20 years ago. He confronts her and eventually, she confesses the truth.
Guess what, his marriage is falling apart. Not because of the initial affairs, but because of the 20 years of lies and cover up by his "perfect wife".
So, initial infidelity is bad enough, but if you compound it with a time period of lies and cover up, it compounds the problem tenfold.
A wise man once said if you've got bad news, get it out early. It makes damage control easier. It's really true.
Whatever, it hurts for a time... but then they heal and move on.
Right and then it's never the same again so what's the point? Or if you tell, do it to break up and not trying to fix it. There is nothing to fix, telling or not telling. It's shattered to pieced in both ways..
The use of OP was just an illustration of how I see things from my point of view and what I would do in that case.
No - my question was, what do you think "OP" stands for? Because I'm having a hard time understanding your posts without knowing what you think it stands for. I asked this question in your other thread where you use "OP."
No - my question was, what do you think "OP" stands for? Because I'm having a hard time understanding your posts without knowing what you think it stands for. I asked this question in your other thread where you use "OP."
It stands for the other person meaning your spouse or SO. I better say it SO. LOL, no point on that one.
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