[NoIDidn't]

Interesting thread. I am much larger than I was when I married. I had high risk pregnancies every single time (four kids) and packed on weight with each one. I lost all of it the first two times, but the third and last time its taken more than three years to lose half of it. Mostly because I was eating junk, but that can be fixed.

Its interesting to read the bias of some against the overweight or obese. I agree with James, nowadays the weight at which one is considered obese has gone way down. My scale says that I am "obese", but I wear a size 14. I pay it no attention. I am very active - often run/walking 7 miles a day and working up to 10 (my goal is to one day do a marathon). I run with and behind my children. I lift weights. In fact, I have a very high muscle-to-fat ratio that accounts for me coming up as "obese". Muscle weighs more than fat, so that's pretty easy to see.

All of my blood work is in the normal range. My cholesterol is under 150. My A1c is ~4.8. My resting pulse is 62. Overall, I am very healthy when considering those numbers, but my weight is too high. My numbers are far better than the majority of my still-thin friends that think nothing of stuffing themselves with processed food that's loaded with sodium and fat.

To answer the questions that DEM asked, I don't have any of those problems. LOL. Not even when I was pregnant. Not every big person is so inflexible as to not be able to reach what needs to be reached. And sex, IMO, is only a problem for the morbidly obese that are bedridden.

[Taramere]

Originally Posted by NoIDidn't

Its interesting to read the bias of some against the overweight or obese. I agree with James, nowadays the weight at which one is considered obese has gone way down. My scale says that I am "obese", but I wear a size 14. I pay it no attention. I am very active - often run/walking 7 miles a day and working up to 10 (my goal is to one day do a marathon). I run with and behind my children. I lift weights. In fact, I have a very high muscle-to-fat ratio that accounts for me coming up as "obese". Muscle weighs more than fat, so that's pretty easy to see.

A lot of images of feminine beauty press the "fragile" rather than healthy aesthetic on women. An ex boyfriend of mine used to constantly bang on about how the waif-like, anorexic look was his aesthetic ideal ("I know it's wrong, but..."). As a woman who has a Northern European type frame, rather than a daintily childlike build, I'm never going to look like that. Especially as I was involved in a lot of sport as a teen, and therefore have an athletic rather than fragile look. But the "very thin and tiny-boned is best" mindset is pushed on women constantly. It's something we have to work hard to filter out if we're to stay mentally and physically healthy.

I think that media images of very slim models (sometimes photoshopped to make them look even thinner than is possible for them, let alone any normal woman) are totally counterproductive in a society that's attempting to tackling an increasing obesity problem. It's a little like the reward scheme run by my gym. Last year, they ran this programme whereby you got various rewards as you burned up calories in the gym. You had to work hard to get those rewards, but they were attainable. I was in there, working out hard with these positive goals in mind. But then this year (understandably, for economic reasons) they raised the bar drastically to the point where you'd have to be training like a dedicated Olympian athlete to win the top reward. My interest in the gym drained away as a result, and I'm having to find other ways of motivating myself to go there.

I can't help thinking that there are similar processes at work when it comes to morbidly obese people trying to find a motivation to lose weight. I think something like Weightwatchers is on the right track - featuring real life women who have lost a great deal of weight and who can talk about the psychological and physical benefits.

Even normally sized women tend to feel/be alienated by the extremes and unrealistic demands of the fashion industry and of "Maxim culture". For someone who's morbidly obese and who encounters medical/practical problems (of the kind touched upon in DEM's opening post) the fashion industry and Maxim culture has absolutely nothing to offer in the way of support and effective motivation in the business of trying to be a healthy, attractive and happy person. It's something that normal women (and men) have to create for themselves and eachother.