That thread became bombarded with comments relating to consideration of why a woman believes that she is "intellectual," rather than focusing on the male response to women whom THEY deem as intellectual. So, I thought I would start a separate thread to address the question that the majority of people apparently want to answer: why a woman claims or is perceived to be intelligent.
The predominate view I'm gathering by many posters here is that if a woman is intelligent she is either (1) insecure and/or (2) unattractive.
So, now's your chance! Give all your psychological considerations as to why a woman claims or is perceived to be intelligent! Is it because she wears glasses and not enough make-up? Is it because she is so insecure with her intellect that she feels the need to impress everyone around her with her extensive vocabulary? If an intellectual woman knows she is intellectual, does that automatically indicate that she is insecure? When you imagine said woman, is she generally unattractive? Can a woman really be intellectual without her being perceived as one of these two things viz. insecure and/or unattractive?
The only rule I ask that you follow is to stay on topic! If you are a man and want to talk about why you don't like dating intellectual women: go to my previously mentioned thread and post! This thread is entirely dedicated to what is assumed when a woman claims and/or is perceived to be intellectual.
Give all the stereotypical and/or psychological explanations that you want--just please be tactful!
The predominate view I'm gathering by many posters here is that if a woman is intelligent she is either (1) insecure and/or (2) unattractive.
Hi Jersey,
As I said in the identical thread, an intelligent woman is a great woman.
An intelligent woman who tries to belittle others, is over critical and is extremely argumentative is a woman that men do not want to be around.
An intelligent woman can be attractive if she keeps herself in great shape, has a decent sense of fashion, good morals and treats her man well.
So if you're an intelligent woman who tries hard to belittle men, is overly critical and extremely argumentative - chances are, good men - who want to protect their women - will not be attracted to you. Instead, they will be attracted to the intelligent woman who is easy to be around.
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Last edited by You'reasian; 4th October 2009 at 6:59 AM..
As I said in the identical thread, an intelligent woman is a great woman.
An intelligent woman who tries to belittle others, is over critical and is extremely argumentative is a woman that men do not want to be around.
An intelligent woman can be attractive if she keeps herself in great shape, has a decent sense of fashion, good morals and treats her man well.
So if you're an intelligent woman who tries hard to belittle men, is overly critical and extremely argumentative - chances are, good men - who want to protect their women - will not be attracted to you. Instead, they will be attracted to the intelligent woman who is easy to be around.
LOL, I really don't get the "jersey shorty" references. I'm from and live in the midwest and I am 5'9".
Intelligent women are not insecure and unattractive. Like I said in the other thread women who use that excuse for why they are a turn off to men are usually covering up for something else.
I don't know what the beef is. I think a girl that wears glasses and not very much makeup is incredibly sexy. They can usually hold a good convo too. None of that "well like, umm u kno how wen u like turn 2 the side and it looks funny haha". No babe, your ditzy word choice does not stimulate my man parts.
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I don't get how this question relates to the subject.
Hi deux ex machina!
Well, the whole point of the thread is so that people who wanted to make all these psychological and superficial claims about intellectual women could do so.
The glasses and makeup bit was just one of many examples I was throwing out there to demonstrate what I mean by insecure and/or (what others perceive as) unattractive.
Sheesh. The point of this thread isn't to respond to my examples, but to express what an "intellectual woman" means to you. The overwhelming psychological responses I got in the other thread indicated that if one claims to be or is perceived to be intellectual she is insecure and/or unattractive. So, I started the thread off with those claims in the hope that people would either give reasons for or against said claims.
urkillinmesmalls:
There is no "beef." I am really just asking because I find that people's responses to these sort of questions are vastly interesting. Which is why I ask.
You'reasin:
Another thing: lol, that thread was not identical to this one--that's the whole reason I created this thread: people were giving me answers that related more to this question than the one I had asked.
I really don't know what to say? My wife is wicked attractive, intelligent, and very secure, in herself. Having said that, she is also snobbish, impatient, and judgemental. So I suppose it's a trade-off.
I really don't know what to say? My wife is wicked attractive, intelligent, and very secure, in herself. Having said that, she is also snobbish, impatient, and judgemental. So I suppose it's a trade-off.
When did we get married BJ...?
This is EXACTLY how people would describe me -- but you left out demanding -- and the flip side generous.
Men would prefer that truly intelligent women (not pseudointellectuals) were not attractive to them because intelligent women can see through men pretty easily and the more mysterious a man tries to be the more foolish he looks to her.
Intelligent women know how the universe is and theyre pitiless
The predominate view I'm gathering by many posters here is that if a woman is intelligent she is either (1) insecure and/or (2) unattractive.
Remember Jeffrey Skilling of Enron, calling an analyst an a-hole for asking tricky questions at a press conference? Of course the analyst wasn't being an a-hole. He was being smart, investigative and generally doing his job. Skilling loathed him for it. Grubing became something to be disliked, despised and abused. An "@sshole" - because he was onto something about Skilling and the rest of them, and Skilling was responding with all the fear, loathing and panic of a cornered animal.
I don't know how Grubing felt about the abusive comment. In his line of work, he was probably thick skinned enough to shrug it off - but who knows? Maybe he left that meeting feeling angry and abused in a way that he couldn't quite shake off, even though logically he knew exactly why Skilling reacted the way he did.
One form of intelligence is the heightened perceptiveness and understanding of human nature, that leaves others feeling "this person really gets me. I feel connected to them". It's a form of intelligence that men are generally quite willing to attribute to women. They willl often be far less keen to acknowledge other forms of intelligence (mathematical skill, expertise in debating) in women. I know I'm dealing with generalisations here, but I think when a man describes a woman as intelligent, he usually means "she sees me. She understands how I think." Or in a negative context "she sees through me."
If you feel as though someone can see right into the core of who you are, and they like you - well, that's a fantastically validating feeling. If you feel they can see your core, and they despise you, it's the very opposite. If you're hiding something and you're afraid that this perceptive person is going to "find you out" (see example of Skilling and Gruber) then that's incredibly threatening.
I think that presents problems for people who have the brand of intelligence which makes them highly perceptive about others. They elicit strong emotional reactions (positive or negative) - and, often, demands for validation - from others. With all the drama and insecurity that can entail. If a man suspects that you're more perceptive than he wants you to be, and if he also suspects you've got a low opinion of him....then he's unlikely to warm to/be attracted to you. That's human nature, and also quite healthy. The rot sets in if a man is so f*cked up inside that he wants to visit verbal abuse (ugly, fat, worthless etc etc) on, or destroy the self esteem of, any intelligent woman who fails or refuses to validate him.....or of women generally, because he doesn't feel validated by the female gender.
Just thinking anecdotally...when a man describes a woman as intellectual (rather than intelligent), then unless he himself is pretty cerebral and he appreciates others who are likewise I think he's often being less than complimentary. eg "intellectual" as in pretentious, overly bookish at the expense of interpersonal skills etc. If you ask men on a message board whether they find intellectual women attractive, the question possibly conjures up caricatures of dowdy blue-stockings for a lot of them. Hence the negative responses.
Last edited by Taramere; 24th October 2009 at 7:30 AM..
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