[JaneDoe35]

So scared but here goes. I discovered that my husband of 10 years (13 years together) was cheating with a co-worker, 10 years younger than me and also married. Mainly an emotional affair with a few kisses. After I made the discovery he decided our marriage was over. He ran. I wanted to try and work things out as I believe that we both made mistakes. I took our love for granted at times. He is adamant it is over. He had been unhappy for some time. He has still been using me for emotional support and intimacy. I advised him yesterday that I can longer be that woman to him. Lots of mixed signals. This happened a month ago. I am falling apart as I did not see this coming. I knew we had problems as he works away all week but I did not expect this. He says he loves me. We have a lovely daughter who does not know yet as I am loathe to break her heart. I have a wonderful support network so I am very lucky in that respect. He does not seem to appreciate that I am in shock and devastated by this as he had already left the marriage in his head. I want him to be happy but I am so hurt that he is not willing to attempt to save our marriage. I am having individual counselling as is he. He has agreed to go to joint couselling but only so I can understand that it is over. A few years ago he survived a life threatening illness and I think since then he has changed (understandably). The pain is so great that I am embarressed that I am having difficulty coping. I am trying to put on a 'brave face' for my daughter, but I am pertrified.