[Sarita12385]

Hi all. I really need some help with this one. Today the mother-in-law pushed me to my limit and I just couldn't help but finally cry about it. My husband and I have a son, he is 2 1/2 months old. Our household consists of just the 3 of us (and the cat). My sister-in-law just had her 2nd child about 2 weeks after my son was born, so they're very close in age.

My MIL is the primary care taker of both my son and my nephew. Before I returned to work, I was able to spend the first 2 months of my son's life with him at home. During this time, it was just the 2 of us every day, meaning not much noise. At my sister-in-law's house on the other hand, there is: her, the MIL, FIL, brother-in-law, and great grandma, and my 4 year old neice, all under 1 roof. Noise CONSTANTLY.

My SIL works 3 days a week. The days she is at work, we take our son to the MIL's house since she needs to watch both babies plus my neice. The days the SIL doens't work, my MIL comes to OUR house to just watch our son.

Now, the issue I'm having is that every day, I call to check on my son. Usually around 10am, then again around 2pm. We will just refer to the babies as Baby A (my son) and Baby B (SIL's son). Every time I call it's the same thing: "Baby A does not want to sleep, he is so fussy, but Baby B...Baby B is just fine, he doesn't really cry much. Maybe you should ask the doctor why he's so fussy. Baby A didn't poop today, maybe something is wrong. Oh and also, Baby A won't seem to sleep unless he's being rocked. You shouldn't teach him that. He needs to be able to entertain himself. As soon as I put him down he cries. Baby A threw up (not projectile vomiting, just spitting up), but Baby B never spits up like that...maybe something is wrong with Baby A. Why don't you ask the doctor. Oh an Baby A needs to get used to the noise, he doesn't like sleeping here cause of noise..." etc...

Basically I feel like I've got this baby who is so far from the norm...it just drives me into a hole. So what if he doesn't poop every day? I was told by his doctor that as long as he has a dirty diaper within 3 days he's fine. He has no temperature. Yes, he can be fussy, but he sleeps at night time like an angel. I only have to get up once, maybe twice, to feed him. And no, he doesn't sleep well with noise because at our house, we don't have half of the family there, it's just the 3 of us. Now my husband is hooked to think something is very wrong with our son since he is fussy and this and that....

Does it really sound like my son has so many problems? I feel we are blessed to have a child who was born with all toes and fingers, etc. I feel that things could be much worse. And our son is also a "grunter", he sounds like he has a stuffy nose, but we were assured by his doctor that a lot of babies are like that, and that salin drops can help. It doesn't mean he's suffering from some traumatic illness...it's just so stressful! I feel obligated to keep my mouth shut because she's taking care of my son every day, saving us a lot of money and stress with sending him to daycare...but c'mon!

Is it me? Honestly? I can take the pressure if it is me, but I just don't know how to deal with this inner family conflict...