Is 12 too young to do your own laundry?

blind_otter · 23rd August 2009, 10:22 PM

I had to do my own laundry as soon as I could see over the washing machine.

Do you think 12 is too young to do your own laundry?

Trialbyfire · 23rd August 2009, 10:24 PM

Nope. I started doing my own laundry at 10.

Hell, my mother made me pick my own china pattern at 11!

jerbear · 23rd August 2009, 10:27 PM

I never had to do laundry till high school. It also happened to be the time we got a washing machine and I was allowed to use it.

I think 12 maybe young but it really comes to maturity levels and ability. Just because they are 12 does not mean they can not learn and figure it out.

westernxer · 23rd August 2009, 10:27 PM

It builds character. LOL

jerbear · 23rd August 2009, 10:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by westernxer

It builds character. LOL

-OR-

If a 12 year old can get an sexual experience around 12, maybe (s)he'll want to do laundry to hide the evidence.

Trialbyfire · 24th August 2009, 12:08 PM

BO, the easiest way to shortcut a lie like this, is to have a family discussion about it. This way, whomever is lying, will be called on the spot by the other. It's not an impossibility that your b/f did know, to an extent but not to the degree that it was happening. Why remove a cabinet you can easily check, here and there? Instead, let him earn trust and approval by accomplishing, at first, little tasks.

There's a power struggle going on. As the adult, how will you find a way to stop the power struggle and turn it into a functional child/parent relationship?

Touche · 24th August 2009, 2:34 PM

I like TBF's idea of a family meeting.

You're going to have to talk to your b/f about this and have him take more control here. I hear your frustration. Frankly, i was a little surprised that you said "jerk." This tells me that you're losing a little control here. And trust me, I don't blame you. This is a very, very tough position to be in.

As much as this boy is frustrating you and testing you now, please keep in mind that he's just a little boy. His mother, for all intents and purposes, rejected him. This has to affect him. Just stay in control. Vent here and don't let up on the bf. Try not to lose control with the boy.

missdependant · 25th August 2009, 1:45 AM

I started at 8 or 9, and these days I've become an expert on the subject.

I would say no.

blind_otter · 25th August 2009, 9:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Touche

I like TBF's idea of a family meeting.

You're going to have to talk to your b/f about this and have him take more control here. I hear your frustration. Frankly, i was a little surprised that you said "jerk." This tells me that you're losing a little control here. And trust me, I don't blame you. This is a very, very tough position to be in.

As much as this boy is frustrating you and testing you now, please keep in mind that he's just a little boy. His mother, for all intents and purposes, rejected him. This has to affect him. Just stay in control. Vent here and don't let up on the bf. Try not to lose control with the boy.

Oh come ON, Touche. I'm venting HERE. I am not telling SS that he is a jerk, but when he talks back to me and throws temper tantrums and calls me a bitch, yes, he is being a jerk. Sorry if it offends anyone that I call a spade a spade.

Good Lord if I can't vent on loveshack, I don't even know why I post here anymore.

And he's not my BF, he's my H now. Being that I am not jazzed about marriage, it's not a big deal to me at all and I don't consider it to be any different from our previous relationship.

blind_otter · 25th August 2009, 9:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trialbyfire

BO, the easiest way to shortcut a lie like this, is to have a family discussion about it. This way, whomever is lying, will be called on the spot by the other. It's not an impossibility that your b/f did know, to an extent but not to the degree that it was happening. Why remove a cabinet you can easily check, here and there? Instead, let him earn trust and approval by accomplishing, at first, little tasks.

I am removing the cabinet to allow SS to continue having a modicum of privacy in his own room. I don't want to be going in there to check on everything every day. Part of learning responsibility involves being given the space and being held responsible for things.

He doesn't need the cabinet - it was entirely empty except for the wadded up laundry. He has another dresser that was COMPLETELY EMPTY - the one with drawers that are labeled to make it easier for him to organize things.

I chose my battles. I am not going to continue wasting energy fighting with him about putting his clothes away. At least if there is no extra cabinet in there, I can just open the door and glance in to see if the clothes are put away, rather than opening up drawers and going through his things.

I had no privacy growing up and it was difficult for me. This is important to ME - that I respect his privacy.

parrotlover · 23rd August 2009, 10:28 PM

Nope, my 12 year old does all her own laundry. Including her bedding and towels. She washes, dries, folds and hangs up all her own stuff.

She takes WAY better care of her stuff than most kids her age, since she has to do the work (not throwing clothes on the floor for example).

Citizen Erased · 23rd August 2009, 10:30 PM

While we did help on occasion, my mother always did the laundry, cooking, cleaning etc. She's still doing my brother's laundry and he's almost 18.

I know she resented it and I don't blame her. My children will be certainly helping out more than I was expected to as a kid. Not raising lazy, ungrateful brats.