Wouldn't it make sense that men and women who believe in the same things, such as the traditional environment of the man working and the woman at home, be together?
Feminism isn't about putting down men. It's about ensuring that women have choices. If they choose to work, they'll get equal pay for equal work. If they choose to be SAHMs, they will be treated at home, the way they're willing to be treated.
Why some men feel that giving women choice, detracts from their masculinity, is silly.
Wouldn't it make sense that men and women who believe in the same things, such as the traditional environment of the man working and the woman at home, be together?
Feminism isn't about putting down men. It's about ensuring that women have choices. If they choose to work, they'll get equal pay for equal work. If they choose to be SAHMs, they will be treated at home, the way they're willing to be treated.
Why some men feel that giving women choice, detracts from their masculinity, is silly.
This world is made of all kinds of people. From a woman's perspective, you'll find a portion of the population careerists (love that term and embrace it ), a portion who are SAHMs and the balance, who want to/have to work full-time or part-time, for fiscal reasons or just because they enjoy working.
It's only common sense that men and women need to find someone of compatible views. No man or woman is entitled to marry someone of differing views, with the belief they have the right to mold, dominate or force change, in any manner. Anyone can ask for anything. If the other person chooses not to provide, move on. For that matter, why in the world would anyone not have this kind of thing hammered out, previous to getting married?
With all this in mind, how does it de-masculate men? Hate to tell you this but Feminism isn't really about men.
This world is made of all kinds of people. From a woman's perspective, you'll find a portion of the population careerists (love that term and embrace it ), a portion who are SAHMs and the balance, who want to/have to work full-time or part-time, for fiscal reasons or just because they enjoy working.
It's only common sense that men and women need to find someone of compatible views. No man or woman is entitled to marry someone of differing views, with the belief they have the right to mold, dominate or force change, in any manner. Anyone can ask for anything. If the other person chooses not to provide, move on. For that matter, why in the world would anyone not have this kind of thing hammered out, previous to getting married?
With all this in mind, how does it de-masculate men? Hate to tell you this but Feminism isn't really about men.
I had said a few times that comments like sexist and chauvinist from his spouse (because he wants to be the head provide for his wife only to relieve her and spend more time with the kids) is attacks his masculinity. It's somewhat of reverse psychology when saying those things to make him feel he's wrong with feeling that's the type of man he should be, when his intentions are good.
Apart of feminism was about men because women felt that they were being robbed the right to choice by men? right?
I had said a few times that comments like sexist and chauvinist from his spouse (because he wants to be the head provide for his wife only to relieve her and spend more time with the kids) is attacks his masculinity. It's somewhat of reverse psychology when saying those things to make him feel he's wrong with feeling that's the type of man he should be, when his intentions are good.
Sounds to me like they both made a poor choice in partner. It's like saying that she wants to force him towards her perspective, then telling him he's de-femininizing her, since the woman is always right, within a traditional relationship.
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Apart of feminism was about men because women felt that they were being robbed the right to choice by men? right?
Historically, yes but feminism has evolved. Feminists like myself, are more interested in freedom of choice. I don't particularly care about what men can/should do. I care that women have equal pay for equal work. How I address this is to do my own thing, so I get what I want out of life.
I use myself as an example, since I can't speak for all women or anyone else, for that matter. I don't think you can speak for all men, since not all men feel the same traditionalist way you do.
I had said a few times that comments like sexist and chauvinist from his spouse (because he wants to be the head provide for his wife only to relieve her and spend more time with the kids) is attacks his masculinity. It's somewhat of reverse psychology when saying those things to make him feel he's wrong with feeling that's the type of man he should be, when his intentions are good.
If the 'comments' you're referring to is the thread in M&L partnerships forum, it's not true. You do not know what the intentions of that particular man is. He could be having good intentions, but he could also be acting out of insecurity and fear of what 'people will think of his manliness'. Also nobody ever called him a chauvinist because he wanted to 'provide for his wife to relieve her and spend more time with the kids'. It was because he supposedly 'resented her earning more than him', and 'resented taking care of the baby' and 'whined when she didn't make lunch for him' as per the OP's initial post. Get your facts right, please.
If calling that man (based on the OP in that thread's first post) a chauvinist is attacking his masculinity, some of your comments to several of us women are also 'attacking our feminity'. Don't you think?
Last edited by Elswyth; 30th July 2009 at 3:10 PM..
Women who call men a chauvinist or misogynist do so as a way of silencing us. If we speak our minds and try to tell out point of view the claws come out. Sadly many men have listened to them and have emasculated ourselves more and more until we have the situation we have today.
Never said that I feel those traditional ways. You continue to miss my point..
No, I'm not missing your point at all. I'm debating that it's not applicable, from my perspective as a woman.
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Do you all get the point now? You're all shouting about feminism and how wrong a man is if he does this or that by forcing a woman to do something she doesn't want to do. hahahahaha!! The portionof this post that I'm talking about is making him feel less of a man because he wants to do something positive for his family.
I'm talking about incriminating his masculinity for no reason instead of just saying, "No Thanks." A man who wants to take care of his family and relive his wife of working so hard is a Chauvinist?
Your point is unidirectional. It's making the assumption that your perspective is better for everyone, which is completely untrue. Being a SAHM isn't a walk in the park, like you make it appear. For that matter, what's wrong with a SAHH, if the two partners are happy with that?
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Him and her may have a few disagreement on it but if she said, "no thanks" then that should be it, just all she says is,"no thanks". If he forces her, then I can understand where you women are coming from.
I don't disagree with this. Where I disagree is that your point assumes your way is the best way. Once again, completely untrue.
For some of us, being a SAHM would be hell on wheels. For others, they're happy with it. Some are both working and care-taking. Whatever choice works for everyone, which includes finding a mate that believes in the same things, is what makes the world go around.
No group of people like to be oppressed whether race or gender. It’s clear to me on this site that women are asking other women how men should act; that the best advice for a man’s behavior is solely suited for a woman’s analysis. It’s also clear that some women on this site and in society strongly promote femininity but are eager to dissect a man’s masculinity to where it’s convenient for them or extinct. Testosterone drives most men to dominate and strongly encourages them to aim high-to be the best. Masculinity is something innate in most men that can’t be conditioned. The only conditioning it has is a self-conscious one, to where most men don’t want to look socially incorrect. Most men I’ve talked to feel that being head of household is a man’s duty which doesn’t mean control and authority over everything. What those things maybe are different for every man. For me to list any of them would set up a stereotypical outlook, which would be dissected by some women and not speak for every man. A lot of men I’ve talked to don't discuss things like this in the opened like women because they know they'll get ridiculously backlash. Some men say that chivalry is a masculine trait towards women but women want to be treated equal. Some men believe acting boisterous is apart of masculinity but woman want to compress that type of behavior.
A male’s ego is sometimes easily bruised, but maybe some of the reasons why (nowadays) is because men are fighting for their distinctiveness; to be masculine in a society forcing them to change. Some men in relationships/marriage are made to feel emasculate (for whatever reason) or feel unappreciated to where they will try to prove their worth as men through dominance by oppose women’s beliefs of how men should act, which become very catastrophic. No man wants to be told how to act like a man by a woman which is evidently contrary. A lot of women are fighting for their identity today because of the movement. Working or Stay-At-Home mom/wife, wanting it all but can’t have it-wanting to be a stay at home, but feels she’s missing out on following her dreams and leaving a print of accomplishments on this earth-on the contrary, working is taking away from her fully enjoying every inch of being a mother and wife.
A lot of men continue to fight back, not wanting to marry, because they feel their place and identity as a man won’t be appreciated and respected. They feel once they “tie the knot”, they’re going to get a controlling feminist b*tch.
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), a portion who are SAHMs and the balance, who want to/have to work full-time or part-time, for fiscal reasons or just because they enjoy working.
The portionof this post that I'm talking about is making him feel less of a man because he wants to do something positive for his family. 
Hybrid Mode
