[perryellis]

Hi everyone,

Here is my situation. I have been dating my gf for over 3 years now. We are in love. Sadly though, about once every other month or so, we get in a fight that results in her telling me its over and saying horrible things like, "I hate you" or one time she even said she was going to sleep with another guy (who the hell says that??) etc... She even packed up all my stuff once in an attempt to throw me out (we live together)

Then the next day or so after the fight she seems to regret what she did/said, but she has the hardest time appologizing for it. I have to beg her to appologize whenever she does something wrong... she just cant seem to do it on her own much.

Anyway, the problem is sometimes when we fight she just completely loses control of herself. I know I'm not perfect and sometimes the fight is a result of some wrongdoing of mine (nothing ever too serious), but the fact remains sometimes she cant calmly talk it through. It seems that atleast once every other month she is trying to break up or saying something extremely hurtful.

Also, it is not like our arguments progress gradually until she is out of control. It seems that she goes from kind of mad to super mad very quickly.

When she does this I try my best to remain calm and realize that what she is doing is not based on her true feelings but on her impulses. However, often times it brings me to tears. It seems that a lot of the time when she sees me crying she starts to gain control of herself again.

I've talked to her about this and told her it hurts me, and she has told me she wouldnt do it anymore but she always does it again. I think she sincerly means it when she says she wont do it, however it appears she just completely loses control of herself when we have a big fight ( keep in mind its not every fight she does this.)

But besides those couple of days per month or per every other month, she and I get along great for the most part. And we really care for each other.

Also, I realize that her period may have something to do with her behaivor, but I cant imagine it would affect someone this badly.

This is a serious concern of mine because I want to marry her, but I have told her I wont until she can keep herself in control when we have a big fight. I refuse to marry her and then have her threaten divorce every couple of months.

Any advice on how to handle this?

Thanks in advance