Cheating, Flirting, and JealousyBeing unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.
How old is your fiance, how did you find out what happened that night, b4 you go any further, find out Why she did these things, the deep down why., and ask her How could she do these things to her future H.
She is 28 and I am 31.
She told me a very small amount. I asked more questions like I said in my earlier post and finally I did the wrong thing and checked her phone. yes I know... ****ty but I felt trapped... she had been talking with one of the girls that was there and was telling her that I was not taking it well and that she had spared me from the details. I confronted her with this and this is when she told me about leaving with the bachelor for an hour. Later I found out about the licking shots off a chippendale waiter from another of her friends... she did not recall this as she claims to have been blacked out. This is not enitrely unbelievable as she does have a tendency to blackout when she drinks to much.
She told me a very small amount. I asked more questions like I said in my earlier post and finally I did the wrong thing and checked her phone. yes I know... ****ty but I felt trapped... she had been talking with one of the girls that was there and was telling her that I was not taking it well and that she had spared me from the details. I confronted her with this and this is when she told me about leaving with the bachelor for an hour. Later I found out about the licking shots off a chippendale waiter from another of her friends... she did not recall this as she claims to have been blacked out. This is not enitrely unbelievable as she does have a tendency to blackout when she drinks to much.
One of the things I have noticed about this website is that a lot of posters think that the only solution to a relationship problem is to find a new spouse. How many posts in here are the same as this one? 6 posts in a row screaming 'leave her'! 'she doesn't deserve you' etc.
Whatever. We've all made mistakes. My take on the thing is that if both people still love each other and are willing to work to stay together, then what you need to be looking for is a way to rebuild that life that you had wanted together. You need a solution that helps you move forward, not something that removes the person from your life. I don't have a lot of experience, but I'm willing to bet that most people who do end up staying together for a good part of their lives end up having to work through infidelity issues at some point. It doesn't make her a bad person, just someone that made a mistake. If you can, try and figure out how to make that work for you. And if that doesn't, well at least you did your best.
To begin with... I have been cheated on in the past by other girlfriends.
My fiancee and I have been together for 4 years. In the month or two leading up to her bachelorette party I spent extended lengths of time explaining to her my fears surrounding her bachelorette party. She spent extended amounts of time trying to explain to me that I had nothing to worry about.
Where does this say he accused her of cheating before the bachelorette party. The man has been cheated on before and was expressing his fears to his fiancee who in return told him he had nothing to worry about.
To begin with... I have been cheated on in the past by other girlfriends.
My fiancee and I have been together for 4 years. In the month or two leading up to her bachelorette party I spent extended lengths of time explaining to her my fears surrounding her bachelorette party. She spent extended amounts of time trying to explain to me that I had nothing to worry about.
Her party came and went... and what I found out was that she made out with multiple guys. She also did things like licking shots off of chippendale strippers. This has shattered my trust... and hurts like hell.
The worst part is that she didn't tell me when I asked... she told me some details and then told me "nothing else happened". Well she is a bad liar and I know her well. So I pryed... and she lied... and I pryed... and she cried and lied... and I pryed... and she lied and got angry at me and said things like "why don't you trust me"... and I pried and I found out about the make outs and chippendale waiter and that she wandered off in Vegas with the bachelor from a bachelor party that was there. They were gone for an hour... just the two of them. She swears up and down that nothing happened.
I am struggling to believe her. There are times when it does not bother me and there are other times like tonight... that it hurts to lay next to her. Before this event she never gave me a reason to not trust her. The weekend after she returned home from the party we got into a fight... she was screaming and yelling at me... hit the dash of the car so hard with her fist that it bruised. I had also never seen her behave this way.
I had always been planning to have my bachelor party with my boys out in the woods doing guys stuff. No strippers... no sex... nothing but drinking and goofing off. We ended up renting quads and riding the dunes in oregon.
We are supposed to be married in a month... I need advice. Have I lost the woman I loved? Why would she be ok with doing what she did? I just need advice. My mind is struggling to understand... and I am not sure I can.
I don't suggest rash decisions. How about talking to her and finding out more and then deciding later how you want to proceed? You've spent four years together. That's not a short time. There must be more than physical attraction that kept it going.
I wish it all works out for your best, whatever you decide.
Her party came and went... and what I found out was that she made out with multiple guys.
this is not a knee jerk reaction..........but...break off the engagement NOW and cancel the wedding. She not only cheated on you, but she lied to you, KNEW your fears and concerns, and cheated anyway. She has no respect for you.
Her behavior now indicates how she will be later on in life once the newness of her marital status wears off and the 7 year itch sets in.
trust me, you do NOT want to marry her.
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She also did things like licking shots off of chippendale strippers. This has shattered my trust... and hurts like hell.
The worst part is that she didn't tell me when I asked... she told me some details and then told me "nothing else happened". Well she is a bad liar and I know her well. So I pryed... and she lied... and I pryed... and she cried and lied... and I pryed... and she lied and got angry at me and said things like "why don't you trust me"
oh hell no she didn't!! she cheats, but gets angry with you. GET THAT ENGAGEMENT RING BACK NOW!!!!
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We are supposed to be married in a month... I need advice.
get the ring back and notify your side of the invitees. you do not want to marry this huss.
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Have I lost the woman I loved?
No, the woman you "loved" never existed. The woman in her place is a cheater and a liar.
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Why would she be ok with doing what she did?
because she is a cheater.
and some people might say that if it was a one time "mistake", which cheating is not a mistake, that it could be forgiven.
But she cheated multiple times in Vegas. Cancel this wedding NOW!!
I don't know how any one in good conscience could suggest not to break it off with your fiancee. She cheated plain and simple. What she did was the ultimate act of disrespect and her actions are only a precursor of a cursed future marriage in my opinion.
Typical for threads like this: someone jumps on the site and tells a tale of woe, one-sided of course, and people jump on the band-wagon and start condemning. I'm not saying what she did was right, but without hearing her side of the story, it's hard to say. The fact that this thread even exists is evidence enough that the relationship is in trouble. But I would be more cautious about saying who is really at fault.
Her party came and went... and what I found out was that she made out with multiple guys. She also did things like licking shots off of chippendale strippers. This has shattered my trust... and hurts like hell.
The worst part is that she didn't tell me when I asked... she told me some details and then told me "nothing else happened". Well she is a bad liar and I know her well. So I pryed... and she lied... and I pryed... and she cried and lied... and I pryed... and she lied and got angry at me and said things like "why don't you trust me"... and I pried and I found out about the make outs and chippendale waiter and that she wandered off in Vegas with the bachelor from a bachelor party that was there. They were gone for an hour... just the two of them. She swears up and down that nothing happened.
I just bolded key points for people who appear to have forgotten about them.
She acted consistently inappropriately, on more than one occasion.
"I've been with a girl for four years who I never trusted the entire time, because of things that happened to me that had nothing to do with her. I asked this person I can't trust to marry me, and she said yes. But as the bachelorette party drew near, I started pressuring her more and more to not do things that a trustworthy person would never do at all.
(Of course, I'm not telling you about how uneasy this made her and how much she had to reassure me throughout all these discussions. I'm also not telling you about how many times over the course of four years I expressed my distrust and reminded her that I've been cheated on before. How many fights did we have, how many accusations...)"
"So the party came and went, and guess what happened? She did exactly the things I pressured her repeatedly, due to my anticipation, not to do. And I'm not telling you about her remorse, because she has none. She feels bad about what's going on, but what she realized before the party is that she could never be with someone who can't trust her, even right before we get married. And she's ready for me to end it, because that's easier than doing it herself."
Maybe I'm wrong. But maybe I'm right. And however bad her actions are, the fact is that there are actually more than 50 ways to leave your lover.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
I don't see you searching by key!!
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