[amaysngrace]

Originally Posted by Trialbyfire

Amaysn, once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic. It's a lifelong fight. Can you accept that?

Yes I can. He has far too many good qualities about him for me not to accept it. He has always been a good man in my eyes but by him doing this he becomes a great man. Although I always suspected he had it in him.

As it is he is on Day 14! Last night he went to AA again and said yesterday was the best he's felt so far.

He looks amazing too. His face looks fuller and even his body is filling out a little. His eyes look clear and his skin has a glow I've never seen before.

I told him about how I was upset that he lied to me and just like I thought he said he was "embarrassed" and he also brought up the fact that it was in the past. The same exact things I thought about it too. Regardless I asked him not to lie to me anymore if he falls back. He is strong-willed right now and assured me "He won't fall back. It's over."

But like you said it's a life-long thing. Mostly he knows this too. But yeah...I'm here for him.

Oh and btw B4R I asked him if I nag him and he said no and said he did this for him. So there.

[Trialbyfire]

Does he have a sponsor? If not, he should consider one since he's not being very realistic. I wouldn't encourage this type of thinking, in that it's "a thing of the past". He should be looking at it as what it is, a lifelong battle, one day at a time.

[amaysngrace]

Originally Posted by Trialbyfire

Does he have a sponsor? If not, he should consider one since he's not being very realistic. I wouldn't encourage this type of thinking, in that it's "a thing of the past". He should be looking at it as what it is, a lifelong battle, one day at a time.

No the lying is in the past. Back in January he was telling me he stopped drinking but was really lying the whole time.

This battle is very current. He told me if he started to drink I'd be the first to know because he'd feel so bad about himself for it he'll need to talk to me.

About a sponsor....he has an older guy at AA that he really likes and clicks well with. He has his number along with another guy there too.

But I think his dad is his very best sponsor.

[NotSoSmiley]

I feel for you-I really do. My ex was an alcoholic and his father was an alcoholic. Your boyfriend can have all the support in the world but if he doesn't want to stop drinking, he isn't going to. He is just going to tell you and his father what you want to hear. It is amazing when they can sneak a drink. Most of the time, you will only notice it when they are NOT drunk because their body is missing that stimulant.

The question you have to ask yourself is: am I happy? Do I want to keep thinking that he is always lying to me? Am I ever going to truly be able to trust him? If you aren't happy and you can't trust him, then you have to decide what is best for you.

Unfortunately, he has decided that what is best for him is to drink-that is most important to him. Can you live with that? If not, get out while you can. The longer you wait, the harder it is - trust me!

All the best to you sweetie-I know it isn't easy!

[stuckinoz]

....Before it's too late!