I'm glad to hear that. Sometimes we can't imagine how great the freedom can be, can we? I hope you continue to enjoy it. Stay in touch!
hey and happy friday!! how are things with you? have you heard from heartford? i hope she's ok.
the date went nicely, w/the old X(not the recent X,although u said you'd write them both off). we haven't gone too far yet. i don't plan on it right now. it was a nice day.he said face to face again that "this time around is going to be so much better, i promise u". i'm a bit of a naysayer at this point,so he told me "ok, you're gonna see". so he was calling and keping in touch for the past several weeks until last night...
he texted me saying "hi". i wz in the midst of texting someone else as well, so i texted my old X by mistake saying "ur welcome,anytime." he said "what". i texted back telling him what happened,but go no response from him.i texted again and he only gave me a one or 2 word text. is he pouting or what? was i wrong?
any other time i would be broke up about his nonresponsiveness.but i'm just venting right now b/c i want to know how much (if any) i am to blame for the way things transpire in my relationships whether very serious or not. i'm not sad or distraught,just curious.so any feedback is welcome.
Hey, girl! I hope you're doing well. No, I haven't heard from Heartford but I'm sure she's fine.
Little things like the ex being non-responsive is just one of those things that's going to kind of gnaw at you even if it isn't a huge deal. And it's probably gnawing at him in a different way. You can't really expect him to respond to you because you've broken up and he either doesn't want to talk, doesn't feel like chatting, or is just enjoying the game of ignoring you. Don't worry about it because you're probably not going to have the answers about what he does and why he does it.
Just please be careful with the other ex. It's very tricky to just casually date someone who's serious about you. You may tell yourself that you're just killing time but it's a dangerous place to put yourself in. I don't know anything about the guy except for the few things you told me but just like with what happened with your most recent ex - how you went against your initial instincts and let him convince you to be in the relationship - it could happen again in this situation. You have certain instincts about him and you shouldn't ignore them. It's not easy to date casually and eventually you're going to be put in the position to be serious or take it to another level. And then you'll convince yourself to sleep with him by, once again, telling yourself that it's not serious, etc., etc. All the things he's doing - texting, dating, occupying your time, saying it's going to be different this time - are designed to draw you back in and before you know it, you're in another not-so-great relationship.
Just please, be very careful about who you allow into your life. As we've discussed before, women especially need to be very protective of themselves.
hi angel. good hearing from you. how are things with you?
things are ok on my end. taking it one day at a time. he started calling again the next day or so. i know he's not for me.
my older X has been in contact but pulled back for some reason.not sure why. it lets me know that he's really not serious about what he said (which i assumed) or is intentionally trying to antagonize me.so that's that...
you're right on point by reminding me to be careful of who i allow into my life.
actually for the older X to pull back shouldn't come as a surprise to me.afterall i was the one who told him i wasnt ready.i kind of feel like he's trying to create this kind of situation for his own selfish reasons.
Hey, you! I'm doing fine and getting excited about the holidays coming up. I love this time of year. I hope it won't be hard for you considering the circumstances of the break up and everything. That can make things tough, I know.
Who knows what the older ex was after or whether he's really serious or not? The thing is, it's really hard to go back to an old relationship because as soon as the old issues come up again, it's like being in the twilight zone, and you tend to wonder, 'what the heck was i thinking?' I don't know, if it didn't work out back then, most likely nothing has changed to make it work now. Honestly I think he was just wanting sex and thought you'd be an easy target. That's why it's a really good idea not to sleep with a guy too soon because when they're just looking for sex, they'll disappear pretty quick when they don't get what they want. I suspect that he'll be back again because I think he's just playing a game with you. Just ignore him and go on with your life. You've got better things to do.
One thing I've kind of noticed about you is that you seem to spend a lot of time focused on what the guy is thinking, feeling, doing, etc. I think a lot of us women are guilty of that - thinking more of what the guy thinks instead of being more introspective about what we think or feel or - God forbid - what we want. I think it's much better for us when we shift that focus back on ourselves and make sure that WE want the relationship, that WE want the guy in our lives, that he's worthy of us. Did you ever see the movie 'The Mirror Has Two Faces'? One of the things the main character says to a guy was, "I was always so worried about what YOU would think, I never bothered to think about how I would feel." (I don't think that's a direct quote but you get the picture.) I think a lot of us are like that and I think it works against us most of the time.
I believe it's really important that we're kind and giving to the man we love. But I don't think women are taught to treat their kindness like a gift and that if someone doesn't deserve it, if they don't deserve us, then that gift shouldn't be given so readily. I believe that if we value ourselves, then we'll start attracting people in our lives who value us.
I believe it's really important that we're kind and giving to the man we love. But I don't think women are taught to treat their kindness like a gift and that if someone doesn't deserve it, if they don't deserve us, then that gift shouldn't be given so readily. I believe that if we value ourselves, then we'll start attracting people in our lives who value us.
Hey ladies, I'm here and feeling strong. I don't know how to totally explain everything I've been going thru, but I'll try. I very much love my ex, but I also hate how he's treated me. I think he's a great guy, smart, funny, articulate, good looking, but guess what? He's NOT sensitive, not to me and what I need. He doesn't care, apparently. As long as he got what he wanted he was wonderful, but now that he's not getting it he's showing a bad side that isn't desirable.
We've gone thru bad times together, but looking back, they were HIS bad times, not mine. NOT MINE. I doubt he could've handled half the crap I dealt with if it had been reversed. We bonded during his bad times, OR SO I THOUGHT. He loved me for them, for my strength and committment....... HA HA guess what? not enough to NOT go off with this "friend" and have a good old time without telling me about it. LIAR.
Now I can't believe anything he says to me. NOTHING. It's all so black and white to me now, finally. I may have been a fool before, but not anymore.
What bugs me, and what I suppose bugs many that feel betrayed, is WHY. Why not just break up and pursue others? Why drag us thru this sh*t? WHY WHY WHY? Why are you so selfish that you'd intentionally lie and hurt and hurt and hurt someone? I know I can't ask him, he'll never be honest.
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