I am not ready to give him an ultimatum. I don't know why- just not. Maybe I'm insecure, and an idiot- but I really like how I feel when I'm with him.
While I am not happy about the no calling for 3 days he did call tonight. I did tell him that I wasn't to happy about that. He did remind me that I would have been there if the unfortunate didn't happen (surgery)- so we would have been together.
As for children out there- there are none- he was "fixed" years ago- he and W never wanted kids. He has never cheated on her before me- (do I know for sure, no- but he hasn't lied to me about things he could have and didn't) so I do believe him about that.
"Isn't it funny that he complains about lacking a connection with her, but does the opposite of what it takes to get one? If he wanted connection, he would have called you or texted you or something before three days passed."
Yes- you are correct. And I think I will address with him when I see him.
The more I think about this whole situation I am actually beginning to wonder if he is really the person for me....just little comments and things I have been remembering and taking more notice of being that he's been away for 2 weeks.
Warning Warning: *LIGHTBULB MOMENT* ??????
I don't know. I think I am going to see what happens in the next few weeks. But this not calling for days is going to be addressed and I am going to say what you said- about he claims there's no connection with W and yet does the opposite of doing what it takes to get one. It takes effort and if he isn't aware of that he is going to be aware of it after I get done talking to him about this.
I am not ready to give him an ultimatum. I don't know why- just not. Maybe I'm insecure, and an idiot- but I really like how I feel when I'm with him.
Well then, I suppose you'll just have to learn to live with the fact that he has a wife, that you will be a secret and that you are not a priority. If you like how you feel so much that you're willing to lower your standards and be the other woman, that's your choice, but you can't blame him.
You are allowing him to be married, just like every other OP who is too afraid to demand respect.
I couldn't be with a man who disregards my feelings, but that's me.
He has never cheated on her before me- (do I know for sure, no- but he hasn't lied to me about things he could have and didn't) so I do believe him about that.
He's been "unhappy" for many years, and honestly, he isn't stupid - He isn't going to tell you he's had other affairs, or ONS's (one night stands). What good would that do him? He KNOWS it'll upset you, and ruin things for him.
Tread carefully..This man is good at lying. Just ask his wife.
To the OP, I am so sorry for your pain, but it does sound like he's playing you
Now I have to say this, to you and Alpha or any other OW who calls the wife "a beast"
Not EVERY man or person is shallow and not all love is about looks.
Beauty is on the INSIDE since outter beauty fades and these "beasts" obviously have something they offer their H's because the H's don't leave.
Come on now, it's low enough being the OW, but no reason to bash someone's looks.
It's really childish!
__________________
Honesty is the first chapter of the book of wisdom. ~Thomas Jefferson
I am not ready to give him an ultimatum. I don't know why- just not. Maybe I'm insecure, and an idiot- but I really like how I feel when I'm with him.
While I am not happy about the no calling for 3 days he did call tonight. I did tell him that I wasn't to happy about that. He did remind me that I would have been there if the unfortunate didn't happen (surgery)- so we would have been together.
As for children out there- there are none- he was "fixed" years ago- he and W never wanted kids. He has never cheated on her before me- (do I know for sure, no- but he hasn't lied to me about things he could have and didn't) so I do believe him about that.
"Isn't it funny that he complains about lacking a connection with her, but does the opposite of what it takes to get one? If he wanted connection, he would have called you or texted you or something before three days passed."
Yes- you are correct. And I think I will address with him when I see him.
The more I think about this whole situation I am actually beginning to wonder if he is really the person for me....just little comments and things I have been remembering and taking more notice of being that he's been away for 2 weeks.
Warning Warning: *LIGHTBULB MOMENT* ??????
I don't know. I think I am going to see what happens in the next few weeks. But this not calling for days is going to be addressed and I am going to say what you said- about he claims there's no connection with W and yet does the opposite of doing what it takes to get one. It takes effort and if he isn't aware of that he is going to be aware of it after I get done talking to him about this.
How can he be the person for you??? HE IS MARRIED. He is the woman for his wife. Remember her? He can't date you - he is married.
He is playing with you - because he is a retired man who is bored. So, he decides to add excitement and he finds himself someone who is willing to settle for 1/2 a person -- someone who accepts he is married and someone he can manipulate.... and guess who that person is??
Remember, he is MARRIED.
He has a wife. He isn't leaving his wife.
Why are you so willing to settle for crumbs? Why don't you feel as if you deserve a whole man who is single??
__________________ We teach others how to treat us.
[QUOTE=DiDi123;2463997] I have told him from day 1 that I really wasn't honest in my previous relationships about my needs and just always found myself conforming to the other person in hopes that if I changed myself they would want me.
NOTE TO SELF: You are still doing the same thing.
__________________
"She looks like the real thing She tastes like the real thing My fake plastic love."
Radio Head
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