[Kate]

i have a question for the guys. i am dating a great guy. he is open about the fact that he fantasizes about strippers, has thrown parties with strippers at his house, goes to strip clubs sometimes and generally thinks strippers are hot. i appreciate his openness, and what doesn't bother me at ALL is thinking for a minute he would get sexually involved with any of them. that's not my concern...my question is:

what relation to a girlfriend does all this stripper stuff have in a guy's mind? what do strippers do for a guy that a hot girlfriend can not? where do i, as a girlfriend, draw the line? i'm pretty open minded, but i don't relish the thought that a nasty stripper -- who is probably coked up and turning tricks -- could serve as a bigger or better fantasy for my boyfriend than me.

my boyfriend is cool because he has been so OPEN and nonchalant in telling me random things about how he likes watching strippers -- he seemingly has nothing to hide and this is most important to me. but, i worry that i might have a problem with it replacing anything that should be held only for him and me. i'm pretty liberal in general, but when it comes to sex and intimacy, i like to save everything for just between the two of us.

i want anything sexual to only be between my bf and i, and the love of strippers really bothers me -- but, i'm writing here about this because if i perhaps understand it better (from other people's perspectives), maybe it won't be as important to me anymore.

some questions for guys who love their gfs but love strippers and porn:

1)what does a stripper provide for you that a gf can not? why can't you act out the same fantasies with your gf?
2)what do you think about when you watch a stripper or porn
3)how do you "protect" your relationship with regard to your "habits" concerning porn and strippers
4)does porn/strippers ever make a guy MORE attracted to his gf or MORE sexual toward her?
5)does the interest level in porn/strippers ever decrease after being in a good relationship?
6)overall, what is the neccessity for porn/strippers? what does it DO for a guy?
7)when guys get together in groups and rent strippers, what goes through their heads? Is it just a male bonding experience?
8)can a guy love porn and strippers and also truly love and respect his gf?
9)how far do guys want their gfs to go in terms of acting like strippers/porn stars in the bed room?
10)how important is it to a guy for his gf to act out his fantasies?

besides all my questions, i have decided to not yet broach the subject with my boyfriend -- there is nothing i can CHANGE about it right now. i want to have all of my info before i tell him something bothers me. IN ADDITION, i have decided to take strip tease classes. at least i can feel as sexy as i think he thinks these strippers/porn actresses are. my goal is to knock his socks so far off one day that the one he really fantasizes about is me.

please help me shed some light on this sensitive issue. i know that things like this have been known to break up a relationship or two and really interfere with emotions/jealousy. i doubt that will happen to me, just because my bf is such a good communicator and hasn't hid anything from me ... but i don't want to voice my opinion so much that he starts to. he sees nothing wrong with renting strippers on occassion...and i do. it's cheating, to me. sex should be more sacred...

what do you think?