[IdentityCrisis]

Okay, this is my first post on her and it seems a really good place to get some much needed advice. Anyway, I'm 18, and my girlfriend (16) and I have been together for about 6 months now, and I love her so much. I know she loves me too, but I keep having some doubts on whether or not she still wants to be with me.

Before we got together, one of her best friends told her that he loved her and asked her out. She said no, and their friendship was effectively ruined. About two months into our relationship, they suddenly patched things up. Okay, that does seem fair but she knows he still has feelings for her, and he keeps telling her again and again. It used to annoy her, but now she seems to like him telling her. I shouldn't read into that too much, but about three months ago, she stayed at his house. I didn't want her to go, but I trust her so I just told myself that nothing would happen. To this day, I don't think anything did, but I can't stop thinking that maybe she does have feelings towards him. Her whole attitude towards him has changed.

That's not the only thing that's worrying me. She meets alot of guys at gigs. I go to most of the gigs with her because the bands rock, but sometimes I can't. But whenever I'm not there, she seems to meet a whole load of guys and gets their numbers, and tells me that they're just friends. Okay, maybe most of them are, but theres a handful that want to be with her and I know this for sure.

Today, I read an email from this guy she met a while ago. Now I didn't hack into her account or anything, but she loaded the email up, told me to read it and went to take a bath. She wanted to load up an email from her sister which contained a few jokes but loaded up the wrong one. The email looked innocent enough until I got to the bottom. He said that he wanted to meet up with her as soon as she could. I thought that maybe he was being a freak and she would say no. That's until I read what she wrote to him underneath. She said that she thought he was very cute and wanted to see him...now am I being paranoid or not?

Thing is, I trust her completely and I don't think she would do anything with any of them. But I keep getting the impression that she doesn't want to be with me, even though she says she does. I don't understand, I treat her with respect, I give her enough attention and enough space as she needs and she seems happy. I just don't get it. I really don't know what to do.

Sean

[spencer]

nope, not paranoid

sorry its a slap in your face.
she wrote to another guy that she thought he was cute and wanted to see him.
bad sign
bad gf
a person in a loving relationship does not tell others that they are "cute" (read flirting)
and "want to see them"(says, I'm available).

at 16 she might actually think all these men want to be "just friends".
because she's
1. young and nieve
2. stupid enough to think you might just beleive this
3. all of the above
the correct answer is 3 my friend

move along to someone who makes you feel like your the chocolate sauce on her icecream

[IdentityCrisis]

I'm going to keep an eye out. I know for a fact that this guy's band is playing at this club on Saturday night and has asked her to go. If she says she's going to stay at her friends or something to me then I know she's lying. If she doesn't go, then maybe I was wrong about the whole situation. I'm just going to have to wait and see. Thing is, I don't understand why she's doing this. We're great together and I know she loves me. I just don't get it.

[dlb311]

well sounds like you guys are young still and she must really like the attention do you think maybe she is looking for something you are not give her like compliments making her feel sexy and beautiful...taking her out make her feel like she is your queen but don't over do it. just enough.. I know the only reason people stray is because they are missing something in the relationship. or they are scared of commitment.

I think if she goes to this show. Tell her how she down loaded the wrong e-mail and you read the one from this guy and that its not cool what she replied. You trust her but he showed interested in you and you should let him know that you are not available in that way.

She must like the attention that is all I can think of..

My situation is a little different.. my boyfriend of 2 years and a half and things are good... I have some abandonment issues and we broke up for about 4 months 3 months ago and now we have gotten back and things are good. he was scared of us moving way to fast we were planning on moving in together and it was just to soon. So now we just let the future happen. which is more exciting anyway..

but anyway I did check his mail and he got a message from some girl he dated when we were apart but he did not reply to her thank goodness. But I am sure they have each others numbers because how else would she get his e-mail address. But I trust him or at least try. Then for his b-day he went up to the moutains to snowboard but he drove up the day before.. and stay there he had planned for a friend to go with him but he said he flaked out on him.. so he ended up going by himself I thought that was weird go to the moutains by yourself and stay a night up there. He called me as soon as he came down from the moutain the next day but still it was weird to me...
Then he had a party at his house on Sat. and his partner from work came. who is female and some of his friends were saying she was cute and cool. I didn't think to much of her people when I went to introduce myself she was not friendly or nice to me at all and the whole time she was there. so I didn't like the vibe I was getting and it seems when he works with her he never calls me... so I asked him if he had a thing for her and he asked why I would say that I said because they way she was to me and she texted him when she got home and he said to her back I will see you monday and she wrote back ya right because he kept trading shifts and not always working with her and he wrote back promise. I was sitting on his lap we were all real drunk by this time. But then I think he would write her back with me on his lap if it was something right? but I called him yesterday at 9:30 a.m. and he didn't call me back till 8:50 p.m. that is weird.... and today he is working with someone else and he has called me three times already and said he would call me later tonight so possibly 5 calls in one day... am I paranoid...?
guys what do you think?

I know he loves me he shows me all the time but its just weird to me back she has a thing for him and he just is being friendly.....he is jewish and its a bad thing to hurt peoples feelings so he trys not to alot with people.. I don't know she knew I would be there so why go if you have something going on.. I don't think they do I just think its real weird he doesn't call me when he works with her.. maybe its nothing and I am thinking to much into it... am I?

[Fedup&givingup]

That's the only adjective I can think of....