[Carly]

Yikes, my 13-year old daugher wants to "go out" with a guy her age (a real cutey, from school. seems like a nice guy). In her lexicon, "going out" means going steady!

Her dad and I won't allow her to go to a movie alone with him, only with friends. However, we do allow them to go alone together to play mini-golf or other outdoor activities, in broad daylight.

And we absolutely will NOT allow her to "go out" in her sense of the word. It just seems inappropriate to be committed, in an exclusive relationship, yadda, yadda. Her dad is also concerned that her mind will turn to mush and her school work will suffer if she becomes too involved.

She tells me that "everyone else" is allowed to go out (I doubt it) and that my and dad's way of thinking is the way "our generation" thinks, and that it's not right for her generation. She also wants from us a VERY GOOD REASON for our policy.

Please, Loveshackies, can who help me out in explaining to my 13-year old daughter why it is not a good idea to be in a committed relationship at (breathe) 13 years of age.

Those of you who know me know that I can get pretty harpy when I give advice, and that's OK with me on Loveshack because I am not really here to foster respect with strangers across cyberspace.

But my daughter!! I want to give her a good reason for not going steady, yet not sound harpy, or hurtful, or judgemental. She's a great kid!

What should I tell my daugher? Any suggestions? Do you recall any advice that worked when you were her age?

Thanks.