Am I the other woman? Rebound girl?

Erin2003

I met a man at work who I became friends with and got to know over lunches and friendly telephone calls. We recently started dating. It's been 2 months now. He's just started dating again after being in a long term relationship.

He gave me the impression that he and his ex-girlfriend had broken up about a year and a half ago.

I've found out some information about this relationship and I don't know if I should be concerned.

On one of our dates, his ex stopped by to say hello. He asked me to hide in his bedroom. His reason being that he hadn't told his ex yet about me because he didn't want to hurt her. He was forced to tell her that he was out on a date. She left immediately after finding out. I never saw her since I was still hiding in the bedroom.

He stopped calling me a few days after that and didn't show up for work so I called him numerous times to find out what was going on, but I never received a call back. I was going to give up, but I got a call from his ex.

She told me that my guy was helping her out with something personal thus the disappearing act. She said he was a great guy, the kind of guy women fall in love with forever and that I shouldn't give up on him.

She knew I was worried about what her presence would mean in the relationship so she reassured me that I had nothing to worry about. She was still very much in love with guy, but it hurt too much to be together. Too many fireworks. She said she wanted him to be happy even if it wasn't with her.

She said that she was going to break the bond she had with him and he would really need me now so don't give up.

She calls me later on that day that it was done and he would need me. He calls me and we end up getting together the same day. He knew that his ex and I had spoken. He wanted to know if I had any questions. I felt that it was none of my business and I just didn't want to know.

Fast forward a few weeks later and I find out by accident from another co-worker (different department, different building) that it's possible my guy and his ex never broke up completely. Co-worker is friends with both guy and his ex and did not know that I was with guy now. Guy never told him. I didn't tell him either because I wanted to know what info he had on them.

It turns out that my guy and his ex were together for at least three and a half years and had been on again and off again the last year and a half. They lived together the first three and a half years and decided to stop living together and go on a break.

But in that time, they never really took a break from each other. They continued to see and be with each other. They didn't date other people. They continued to see each other during the week. They spent most weekends together. They spent vacations, social events, holidays and family gatherings together. And I'm pretty sure they even slept together.

Co-worker informs me that the ex had been willing to walk away and make a new start for herself. She and my guy had been having problems. She told guy repeatedly that if there was no future in the relationship to let her know so she could walk away. Guy would tell her over and over that he didn't know what the future held and couldn't give her an answer so ex stayed.

The ex also asked guy to be honest with her if he found himself wanting to be with someone else because she didn't want to find out some other way. Guy continually reassured her that there wasn't anyone else.

I asked co-worker if he knew when they were last together. It turns out that a few days before guy and I went on our first date, he and the ex were together. Guy turned down co-worker's offer to go out for drinks to celebrate co-worker's promotion to be with her.

Co-worker said he didn't understand why ex just now broke off all ties with my guy. Unbeknownst to me, the ex and my guy have been talking to each other during this whole time.

Co-worker said that about two days ago, my guy and ex were in contact with each other. My guy asked that he and the ex remain friends and in each other's lives. Ex told my guy she doesn't want him in her life at all. He apologized for hurting her and acknowledged that she didn't deserve to be treated the way he treated her. He mentioned something about betraying her (what does this mean?!)

He also mentioned something about not deserving forgiveness. He told her how much he loved her and hoped that someday they'd be able to talk to each other again. Co-worker said that my guy was pretty broken up about this and was in tears over this conversation.

Should I be worried about this?

My guy doesn't say anything to me at all about his ex. He's very tight-lipped about her. We're just in the beginning stages of our relationship and I think I'm starting to fall for him hard.

He tells me constantly how much he likes being with me and how I make him feel safe and secure.

Should I be concerned that he might have residual feelings for the ex?

Is he on the rebound? And am I possibly the other woman?

Please help. Need advice.