[STUCKK]

I HAVE BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH THIS GUY OFF AND ON SINCE 1995. ( 8YRS). I HAD HIS SON A YEAR AGO. SHORTLY AFTER MY SON WAS BORN HE STARTED ACTING DIFFERENT. EVENTUALLY WE BROKE UP.NOW HE HAS THIS GIRLFRIEND THAT HE SAYS HES IN LOVE WITH. AND IN THE SAME BREATH HE TELL ME THAT HE STILL LOVES ME.WE STILL HAVE SEX EVERY ONCE IN AWHILE. IT IS SO HARD FOR ME TO LET GO. I HAVE LOVED HIM SINCE I WAS 18 YEARS OLD. AND NOW I CONSTANTLY HAVE TO DEAL WITH HIM BECAUSE OF OUR CHILD. I CANT SLEEP AT NIGHT WONDERING HOW HE COULD JUST ABANDON US LIKE HE DID. I TRY TO ACT COOL IN FRONT HIM. BUT THE PAIN CUTS LIKE A KNIFE. WHAT DOES THIS 20YR HAVE ON ME? I KEEP ASKING MYSELF. I JUST DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO..