[low-fat-al]

Hi all,

I have never written on a board about my problems so I thought I would give it a shot. Here we go..

Well I have been dating this girl who has been an answer to my prayers since April 12, 2001. We are about 9 years apart in age. I am 31 and she is about to be 22. I know that should be a problem but it is not. I will try to summarize the situation. Our relationship has been PERFECT. We are best friends and it couldn't better than it is. No fighting and a lot of give and take with much love shared to eachother. Lately in the past 6 months or so we have not been able to be as intimate as we wish. A situation beyond our control (living conditions and work schedules). We don't live together. I work on weekends as a DJ in a nightclub and she has a day job during the week.

We have discussed marriage and know that we will get married someday. She has brought up during the course of us being together why I haven't asked her yet considering my past relationship. *(My previous girlfriend and I were engaged after 6 months. We were together like 2 and half years and NEVER got married. She basically left me because she needed to grow up a little. We have since talked and discussed that she was in the wrong and treated me bad.)* Well I have been paying on a ring secretly the past 4 months or so. I planned to suprise her on Thanksgiving.

Recently I have been a little depressed about money situation and not having any time to take her out. She has gone out with friends and I feel bad that I can't be there for her. One Saturday night we had a little discussion on where we stood and we both agreed that we have been neglecting each other in ways. The marriage thing was brought up and in her eyes she thinks she isn't doing something right and that I don't want to get engaged and start making plans. The opposite was true and she was in for a shock. Through our heated discussion I couldn't take it anymore and I told her I have been paying on a ring for her. Well the reaction I got wasn't what I was expecting. She was suprised alright. She said she since she thought I wasn't ready she started question herself and if she was ready.

Two days later she pulled me to the side and said she wanted to be alone to sort things out. Meaning no contact, no phone calls or seeing each other. She wants to figure out why she is so confused on everything right now. I am so sure of our relationship and now I am on hold. This is killing me and I don't know what to do. It is hard to not know what my BEST FRIEND and soul-mate are thinking.

It hasn't been that long since I saw her last but I want to know how long I should wait til I have a say in the matter. I am respecting her time to herself.

In the mean time I found the courage to spill my guts on the web to get advice...

low-fat-al