[Tangerina]

Yikes, I am like a sweet happy optimistic girl who loves my life and all the things and people in it most weeks out of the year, but jeez, I hate PMS! I get so insecure and depressed. I should be studying for a test right now but I am all convinced that I am going to fail anyways and am having mini panic attacks. When I talk to my sweet as can be boyfriend on the phone, if he doesn't sound 100% infinitely excited to talk to me I think "oh great, it's over" even though he is joking with me and complienting me and telling me he loves me as usual. I usually send him lots of sweet/sexy e-mails during the week.... this week I sent a few and then thought "oh no, now he will think I am clingy!".... I am freaking out about all the things I need to do, I have about 10 work and personal phone calls I need to make, I keep forgetting to send in my electricity bill and I didn't work at all last week because of midterms... now I have my last midterm and I am freaking out because of PMS. I am all convinced that I will fail school even though this is my first quarter with grades and I will probably get a 3.0-3.5 and by the time I graduate I think I can have a 3.7. I want to go shopping today, which is wierd cuz I am not normally one of those people who thinks... I feel sad, lets go shopping....

Yes, all this wierd stuff is based in reality, but none of it is actually a big deal and PMS make all of these molehills feel like mountains.... AGGGGGGG.... don't ever listen to someone who says PMS isn't real, it is a chemical imbalance.... talking to friends who have chemical-related depression it seems like it feels the exact same way... you know that there is a reason for the way you feel (hormones during that time of month, starting a new medication with side effects, chemical imbalance) but it doesn't really help to take the edge off of what you feel.... ARG!