I have a problem. When I was 18 and a freshman in college, my girlfriend got pregnant. She was 15 at the time. We had a good relationship and I thought it would last but when she told me she was pregnant I didn't believe her and we broke up. I got married to someone else 3 years ago.
Almost a year ago I saw my ex-girlfriend Karla* with a little girl that looked like it could be her daughter. I walked a bit closer (without her seeing me) and got a closer look. She looked around 9, which would have fit the time frame of when Karla told me she was pregnant. And she had some of my features and my smile. I freaked. I left quickly and mulled over it for a few days. I was too afraid to tell Rachel* my wife. I felt like total scum for not believing her. I tried to find her again and after a while I did and apologized to her for not believing her. She was pissed at me for a long time, with good reason.
I told my wife but she didn't want to hear it. She didn't want me to have anything to do with my daughter, Annie*. By this time, we had already done a DNA test and now my name was on her birth certificate and it was official. I love my daughter and I try to spend as much time as I can with her but Rachel hates it. I bring Annie around so she and Rachel can get to know each other better but Rachel is pretty bad to her. She ignores her, screams at her, and is just plain rude. When I tell Rachel that I'm going to spend time with Annie, she tries to get me to go somewhere else with her. At this point, I have to sneak around to see my own child and that's ridiculous. I've tried talking to RAchel to see why she's reacting this way but I get no answer. Rachel and I have no children of our own, she does not want any. We never planned it. She doesn't have to like Annie, but she could at least accept the fact that I love her and WILL spend time with her. She's my child. I wasn't in her life before, but I am now and I'm trying to make up for all the years lost. I can't even imagine my life without her now.
Rachel's being unreasonable and I'm at my wits end. When I go to see my daughter, my wife accuses me of still being in love with Karla. I'm not in love with my ex, but we're friends. Though not close. I tell my wife that theres nothing going on between us, but she refuses to listen. I don't know why Rachel hates my daughter so much. She's a real sweet child (but then again, i'm biased
). Could it be that she's reminded that I had a life before I met her? Could it be that Annie's biracial (Karla's black, I'm white). Rachel and I have lots of friends that aren't white, so I never thought she could be racist. I really don't know what it is, but I do know that it's not Annie's fault. I'm thinking about moving out into an apartment by myself or something because this is tiring. And now Rachel is grumpy and snappy (at everything) and just plain different from when we met. So I'm thinking "who on earth did I marry?" She's changed. But I do know that I won't let this go on. Even though I love my wife, I will not let her treat my daughter like that or get mad at me for wanting to be a father to her. She has a problem and it's not Annie's. I didn't cheat on her, I didn't lie. I just had a life before her.
But I don't know if moving out is what I should do. I just don't know. Any suggestions? (sorry if this is a bit long)
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