[aerinha]

...and I feel like I'm on an emotional rollercoaster.

We can have incredible days and nights, and then I feel as if my heart is getting ripped out. The problem is, he is trying to be a full-time dad at the same time he is trying to be a boyfriend. When something has to give, it's always got to be me. He has not told them about me because he doesn't want to upset them (2 boys) and he doesn't want to upset his STBXW.

Last weekend is a perfect example. I've told him time and again that I want to know WHEN to expect to see him on the weekends so that I don't spend my weekends hanging around the house waiting for him to just show up. Once again, he made no effort to try and do so this weekend. So he showed up Friday night in time to go to sleep, woke up at 730 Saturday morning and was gone by 9 bc his STBX works all day Saturday and Sunday (every other weekend). After explaining that he was leaving to go spend time with the boys (he went on a business trip Monday and will be gone for 10 days) and that he was going to work on his lawn (they're living in the same house and he still does all of the work around the home) and clean out his car he said, "I'll call you later."

The next time I heard from him was when he showed up at 10pm. His excuses- one kid wanted to see his girlfriend and he ended up playing a video game with the other one for 4 hours.

Although I tried to make the most of my day, it was ruined by the tremendous reserve of anger spawned by so many days spent waiting for him. I felt like seeing me was less of a priority than playing a video game.
When he showed up, I was angry and sad. I cried and told him how his actions hurt and he talked about how he hadn't wanted to come bc he knew I'd be disappointed. He swore he would spend all Sunday with me.

"All Sunday" ended at 230 when he went to go make dinner for the boys before STBX came home and he promised he'd be back in time to spend the evening with me. This time he showed up at 930. Apparently, she came home and wanted to talk. By the time they were done, he didn't want to see me (which was evidenced by his body language that said he wanted to run out the door). I got him to stay the night and we/he talked at length about how confused he is. He feels like he's ending up with me where he was with her. He doesn't know who he is anymore....what he wants. He doesn't feel "right" with me, but he doesn't feel "wrong" either. I felt like I got stabbed.

Are all men in the process of a divorce as screwed up as this?
Is there any hope that he will sort his head out?