Why do europeans accept husbands having mistresses?

I was watching the movie Le Divorce [Naomu watts, Kate hudson] about an American woman who goes to France to visit her sister. The movie made me think about the cultural difference between Europeans and Americans etc. Why do Europeans accept things like affairs and mistresses? Why is it ok? Whereas if that happened to someone on his side of the pond, everyone would tell you to seriously consider ending the relationship.

Sorry typo, Naomi Watts

Ahhh, the beauty of stereotypes!

Why do Europeans accept things like affairs and mistresses? Why is it ok? Whereas if that happened to someone on his side of the pond, everyone would tell you to seriously consider ending the relationship.

The same happens on this side of the pond, at least in the country I live. I don't know anyone that thinks cheating is acceptable. Most people here don't think multi-dating is ok, much less adultery.

Ahhh, the beauty of stereotypes!

 

The same happens on this side of the pond, at least in the country I live. I don't know anyone that thinks cheating is acceptable. Most people here don't think multi-dating is ok, much less adultery.

True. I remember how in Latin America they used to view us, Americans, as morally and sexually loose with pre-marital sex and 'living in sin'. They were dead wrong of course.

Stereotypes are for hypocrites.

That's an untrue generalization. I think Europeans don't get so excited over political sexual scandals, but in marriages cheating is exactly the same as in the States. It is devastating and it destroys marriages.

It's fiction.

If you'd like to generalize, Italian women (for example) walking around the square in Milan won't even make eye contact with a stranger. Hollywood's depiction of lifestyle leads many astray.

But they do seem to act differently to poliyical scandals. Eg When Bill Clinton had the affair with Monica Lewinski. The Americans were all over it and he got impeached. Whereas the Italian president has affairs, but theres not this whole media frenzy over it. He's not made to leave his job over it.

But they do seem to act differently to poliyical scandals. Eg When Bill Clinton had the affair with Monica Lewinski. The Americans were all over it and he got impeached. Whereas the Italian president has affairs, but theres not this whole media frenzy over it. He's not made to leave his job over it.

Clinton's impeachment was not just because of Lewinski - dodgy land deals etc. And remember Berlusconi either owns or controls pretty much all the Italian media hence the lack of pressure to go.

As for the UK - I can think of several careers (political, celebrity, business) that have suffered because of affairs. It really is not considered acceptable to have affairs the way you seem to think it is.

I was watching the movie Le Divorce [Naomu watts, Kate hudson] about an American woman who goes to France to visit her sister. The movie made me think about the cultural difference between Europeans and Americans etc. Why do Europeans accept things like affairs and mistresses? Why is it ok? Whereas if that happened to someone on his side of the pond, everyone would tell you to seriously consider ending the relationship.

Because cultural values are relative and there is no absolute right or wrong?

Back 100 years ago, it is legal to have multiple wives in China. Back in my grandpa's generation (or may be one before that), it is openly practiced.

In the last 10-20 years, the phenomenon of "2nd wives", which is illegal, but practiced anyway .. is quite common in some parts of China, particularly for HKers or Taiwanese to go to mainland China for business, and maintained a second household there.

Mainland girls know FULL WELL that they are second wives, and they have no problem doing it.

If you think about it, cultural values can be different across religion and ethnicity, and also over time. Pre-marital sex is a taboo 60-70 years back and it is ok now.

Muslim have 4 wives and they thought of nothing for a middle age man to marry a teenager. Arranged marriage is popular in India. These are just some examples of how different cultures approach the issue of marriage and love.

Clinton's impeachment was not just because of Lewinski - dodgy land deals etc. And remember Berlusconi either owns or controls pretty much all the Italian media hence the lack of pressure to go.

 

As for the UK - I can think of several careers (political, celebrity, business) that have suffered because of affairs. It really is not considered acceptable to have affairs the way you seem to think it is.

Minor correction: Clinton wasn't impeached.

-ol' 2long

Because cultural values are relative and there is no absolute right or wrong?

 

Back 100 years ago, it is legal to have multiple wives in China. Back in my grandpa's generation (or may be one before that), it is openly practiced.

 

In the last 10-20 years, the phenomenon of "2nd wives", which is illegal, but practiced anyway .. is quite common in some parts of China, particularly for HKers or Taiwanese to go to mainland China for business, and maintained a second household there.

 

Mainland girls know FULL WELL that they are second wives, and they have no problem doing it.

 

If you think about it, cultural values can be different across religion and ethnicity, and also over time. Pre-marital sex is a taboo 60-70 years back and it is ok now.

 

Muslim have 4 wives and they thought of nothing for a middle age man to marry a teenager. Arranged marriage is popular in India. These are just some examples of how different cultures approach the issue of marriage and love.

thats a crazy post, since this doesnt have anything to do with the womens sexuality, just the mens.

He was impeached. He wasn't thrown out of office.

I had 2 look it up, and i stand corrected. 'Impeach' simply means 2 bring accusations 2. Clinton was put on trial, but was acquitted.

-ol' 2long

I was watching the movie Le Divorce [Naomu watts, Kate hudson] about an American woman who goes to France to visit her sister. The movie made me think about the cultural difference between Europeans and Americans etc. Why do Europeans accept things like affairs and mistresses? Why is it ok? Whereas if that happened to someone on his side of the pond, everyone would tell you to seriously consider ending the relationship.

Are you saying that you are basing your knowledge on how Europeans deal with marriage on a movie?

Are you saying that you are basing your knowledge on how Europeans deal with marriage on a movie?

yes he is.

now, i am swedish. imagine what i had listen to from americans during my life:-) my american girlfriends soon all discover how libweral we are though, when i start asking them questions:-)

thats a crazy post, since this doesnt have anything to do with the womens sexuality, just the mens.

We are talking about affairs here. Men is HALF of the equation.

But they do seem to act differently to poliyical scandals. Eg When Bill Clinton had the affair with Monica Lewinski. The Americans were all over it and he got impeached. Whereas the Italian president has affairs, but theres not this whole media frenzy over it. He's not made to leave his job over it.

You are right about political scandals but wrong about affairs in general. In Europe we don't hold politicians to a moral standard when it comes to affairs, it's considered to be a private matter for the politician and his/her family and in general nobody elses business.

However affairs are no more tolerated here than anywhere else. If you're basing your opinion on a movie then there's not much more I can say.

You are right about political scandals but wrong about affairs in general. In Europe we don't hold politicians to a moral standard when it comes to affairs, it's considered to be a private matter for the politician and his/her family and in general nobody elses business.

Agreed.

[ten ch]

We are talking about affairs here. Men is HALF of the equation.

read your own post. you were discussing polygami in the middle east, with a man with four wives. here the mans sexuality is probably much more than half of the equation, i would say more like 99%.

few women dream of sharing their husband with three other women, so its most likely very little in that which is about the female sexuality.

read your own post. you were discussing polygami in the middle east, with a man with four wives. here the mans sexuality is probably much more than half of the equation, i would say more like 99%.

 

few women dream of sharing their husband with three other women, so its most likely very little in that which is about the female sexuality.

And totally relevant to views of affairs in Europe .. since most of the examples quoted are MEN going stray, not women.

The point is that there are OTHER, very different views of marriage in other parts of the world.

Heck, even just take arrange marriage in India, do u think the husband-wife relationship will be just like here, supposedly built on nothing but truth & love?

I was watching the movie Le Divorce [Naomu watts, Kate hudson] about an American woman who goes to France to visit her sister. The movie made me think about the cultural difference between Europeans and Americans etc. Why do Europeans accept things like affairs and mistresses? Why is it ok? Whereas if that happened to someone on his side of the pond, everyone would tell you to seriously consider ending the relationship.

That is a bad cliche. Affairs are no more tolerated in EU than in US. M Counseling is almost unknown in Europe and cheating often leads to separation and/or divorce while Americans seek professional help to go through it.

I think people in EU are more keen to divorce after an A than in US, but that's just a personal opinion.

Also, europeans have less materialistic considerations when it comes to divorce. I have never heard here someone staying for finances, assets or property.

And totally relevant to views of affairs in Europe .. since most of the examples quoted are MEN going stray, not women.

 

The point is that there are OTHER, very different views of marriage in other parts of the world.

 

Heck, even just take arrange marriage in India, do u think the husband-wife relationship will be just like here, supposedly built on nothing but truth & love?

i know some of those indian couples and no, its not that different from a western style marriage. they meet before and if they dont like eachother they will not marry.

if you believe that wealth and perceived class has nothing to do with who women marry in the west, you are very naive about women. "nothing but truth & love" is probably hard to find anywhere, if that is what you need. try dressing as a bum and approach women:-)

the idea that european women are fine with their men having affairs is so wrong its not worth discussing. they just hate that just as much american women with, there is no difference. tigers wife were swedish. look what happened there.

That is a bad cliche. Affairs are no more tolerated in EU than in US. M Counseling is almost unknown in Europe and cheating often leads to separation and/or divorce while Americans seek professional help to go through it.

 

I think people in EU are more keen to divorce after an A than in US, but that's just a personal opinion.

 

Also, europeans have less materialistic considerations when it comes to divorce. I have never heard here someone staying for finances, assets or property.

there you go. stop believing in everything you see on tv:-)

It could be because Europeans are honest with themselves and Americans are not.

Europeans accept that affairs happen to people of all socio economic backrounds...Why? because they are all human. This has nothing to do with how they PERSONALLY handle an affair in their own lives; many may abhor it...but that doesnt change that fact that it happens every day and that people move on. Europeans get and are open about this....

Americans...they are in a constant state of denial yet they have two tongues... they talk about and sell the fairy tale (Americans just love fairy tales..this is very American... "the American DREAM" and all that jazz) but they live and revel in reality behind closed doors..where life is grey.

Its the nature of the beast

You are right about political scandals but wrong about affairs in general. In Europe we don't hold politicians to a moral standard when it comes to affairs, it's considered to be a private matter for the politician and his/her family and in general nobody elses business.

 

However affairs are no more tolerated here than anywhere else. If you're basing your opinion on a movie then there's not much more I can say.

Agreed.

 

[ten ch]

I'll have to disagree with this and I could even name an example of a politician that had to step down from his position last year after his affair became public. I mean, if you are the face of a political party that tells it's voters that the family is the cornerstone of society and at the same time you're having an affair you're not trustworthy and it's not going to win you votes, which is after all you main aim. So I would say these kind of political scandals are definitely not accepted in the European country I live in.

If I must believe half of the posts in this thread Europe is very much an idyllic place with idyllic people who have much better values than Americans and know how to focus only on the important things in life without getting carried away by scandals. Haha really, try selling that point of view in Europe!

I was watching the movie Le Divorce [Naomu watts, Kate hudson] about an American woman who goes to France to visit her sister. The movie made me think about the cultural difference between Europeans and Americans etc. Why do Europeans accept things like affairs and mistresses? Why is it ok? Whereas if that happened to someone on his side of the pond, everyone would tell you to seriously consider ending the relationship.

because americans tend to be very puritanical and conservative. europe and s. america tend to be more accepting and realistic about these types of things.