[tryingtobehappy]

I have been broken up with my ex-boyfriend for a little under 4 months, since the breakup we have talked (he is the one that ended it) once a week, I never called him after the breakup, it was always him calling me, I did send him some e-mails but the only time I called him was on his b-day….so anyway, we never discussed if we were dating new people, but I wasn’t, and I assumed that he wasn’t also because I figured if he was he wouldn’t be calling me so much and that when we did talk once a week he filled me in on his weekends and I never assumed there was another women..... well I found out thru work that he was dating someone new, it wasn’t 100% clear but instead of wondering I shot him and e-mail to find out for sure, well the response was not what I expected, it said that he “was” dating someone new but not anymore, that she didn’t understand his children coming first and it was an easy decision to end it. He was separated when we were dating and I knew that there was the possibility that I would be the transitional women, but in the 8 months we were together he was so sweet, we never really fought, and the one problem was he was a bit of a perfectionist…. To make a long story a bit shorter when he sent me the e-mail that he was dating someone new my heart broke again, I didn’t think I would be as mad/hurt as I was, he jumped in a relationship with me when his wife left him and I think I realized he has trouble being alone, I didn’t reply to his last e-mail and he called me that day after work, I didn’t pick up the phone (I almost threw it at the wall) on the voice-mail he left he said sorry and if you want to talk about it give me a call…. I didn’t have the control I wanted to call him back, I was afraid I was going to cry and I didn’t want him to see how hurt I was….so it’ s been a week and he has not tried to contact me again…part of me wants to send him an e-mail or call, the other part wants to wait to see if he calls again, It makes me so sad to think we might never talk again, the week before he was saying he wants me to come over to his house that he got in his settlement (the divorce went trough) and 2 weeks ago I would come into work with voice-mails from him about some sort of personal joke we had together, I was starting to think he had second thoughts about us…I don’t know if I am just venting because I know all the advice that people are going to give is to forget him, don’t call him, but it hurts and I miss him, was he not giving me mixed signals?….thanks for reading this..