Please help with my long term relationship...This is long, but please read.

Shawn

I know this is very long, but there is a lot that has happened in our 6 1/2 year relationship.

I am a 25 year old male, my girlfriend for 6 1/2 yrs is 24. We started out our relationship as her trying hard to pursuing me, and I just liked her, and was just there, not sure what was going to happen. We started getting very comfortable together, and started dating. We have had a lot of fun times together. I wish I could say that our relationship has been wonderful, but we have had our problems from time to time. Mostly it has been my not wanting to commit to her. Even a few years into our relationship, I was afraid to live with her because of the commitment, even though I was there all of the time. It finally got to the point a year ago at this time, when our relationship was the worst. She broke up with me and started talking to someone. Reality kicked in of how I didn’t want to lose her. I spent almost a month of going through depression, and grief. And finally talked her into trying again for (her qoute) “the last time”. I did change a lot, because I wanted to. I almost instantly moved in with her, and eventually lost that fear of sharing everything with her. But I never asked her to marry me. I guess because we just didn’t quite get along like a married couple should. I didn’t appreciate, and compliment her the way she wanted. But I still loved her much. Then, our anniversary day came around for the sixth year. The day didn’t go as either one of us planned, I wasn’t in it because I work nights and had put in 60 hours that week and was doing good to keep my eyes open. And she was the complete opposite. She takes things like our anniversary very seriously (I later find out she was hoping I would propose to her) Since that day (4 months ago) my life has fallen apart. Two weeks later I leave town for Thanksgiving, leaving her here, so we can spend some time apart. She ends up talking to this guy that is just crazy over her, and says all the right things, and they hook up and got intimate with each other (even though she says it wasn’t about the sex, we both agree that sex is great between us). She has always been the type that would NEVER do this. She was honest and told me the next day when I got back. After spending a couple of days to myself, I decided that she means too much to just give up and leave her. So we tried to make it happen again, only I was the only one trying. She continued to talk to him occasionally, but wouldn’t lie about it if I asked. I don’t know why I didn’t leave, but instead I tried too hard to be everything that I thought that she was getting from him. She was just pushing me away slowly. When I finally started getting aggravated with her, she started getting nervous, and saw what she was putting me through, and decided to spend some time away. For 5 weeks, she stayed with her friends and parents to try and figure herself out, while I have been staying very depressed that this is going on, lost weight, and health has gone down. She just started nursing school, which consumes all of her time, and is the number one thing in her life. I am on the back burner. She is confused if she want's to be with me or not, and says that we just treat each other like crap. We both separately started counseling (which doesn't help a whole lot, but we are trying everything) She finally quit talking to him, and decided that she wanted to start staying at home again, (in the other room) but as roommates. (she says she misses me, and her stuff). She says she is not ready for a relationship. I want her back so bad that its hard being around her, Although I don't want her to leave, neither of us want to separate our stuff and move. I know that this is a real critical time for me, because I have to give her space to realize what she wants. . I just don't know how. When I see her, I can tell she misses me, and hugs me. I am forcing myself to keep my distance from her. Because I cannot get this situation out of my head, I am afraid I will lose her again, for good. I don’t know how to act around her or what to do. I just know that I am sure that I want to be with her for the rest of my life, and marry her.

And I love her very much, and I know she still wants to make it happen, she just can't get that love back like I have now.

Can anyone sympathize, or help me out?