Well. Weekend tournament is done. I'm back home now. Today was particularly tough. She would normally have been at all my tournaments with me. There was no one after the games to look forward to seeing.
I really, really, want her back. But when their feelings have truly changed about you, I don't think there's ever really any chance for going back. But I can't honestly give up the hope.
Is it strange that after over 3 months, I can't say that I've ever had a good day? I've had days that are better than others, but I would never call any day of this hell good.
Well. Weekend tournament is done. I'm back home now. Today was particularly tough. She would normally have been at all my tournaments with me. There was no one after the games to look forward to seeing.
I really, really, want her back. But when their feelings have truly changed about you, I don't think there's ever really any chance for going back. But I can't honestly give up the hope.
I want this all to go away.
Sorry SHB you'll have to pick one or the other.
Quote:
Originally Posted by soheartbroken
Is it strange that after over 3 months, I can't say that I've ever had a good day? I've had days that are better than others, but I would never call any day of this hell good.
Sounds like a good goal SHB you haven't found a good day yet? I'd have to ask if you've been looking for one?
TOJAZ
I guess I've had good parts of days. Like a good night with my brother watching a game, or a good time shopping, or a nice hour of reading or walking or something. I think I will settle for these good times for now, instead of expecting my whole day to be good...which is unrealistic at this point. Thanks for making me consider this, Tojaz.
As for the hope - I guess I hope it will just burn out with time. If I could flip a switch and make it go away, I would... Or maybe I am choosing to hold onto it. At any rate, I'm not in a rush to let that last bit go yet, and I'm OK with this. It's not keeping me from moving on, I'm not planning on a reconciliation, I'm not biding my time before I contact her for another chance or anything. It's just there, in the background...
As for the hope - I guess I hope it will just burn out with time. If I could flip a switch and make it go away, I would... Or maybe I am choosing to hold onto it. At any rate, I'm not in a rush to let that last bit go yet, and I'm OK with this. It's not keeping me from moving on, I'm not planning on a reconciliation, I'm not biding my time before I contact her for another chance or anything. It's just there, in the background...
I feel the same way. However,it IS getting better. It's like when we were married I was dangling high in the air with both hands(10 fingers) on the stick. It feels like I am hanging on by 3 fingers now. Slowly it will be 2 then 1 then there will be nothing in my mind except to LET GO. I'm not totally there yet. But you catch my drift. Might be corny,but this is how I feel.
Perhaps some people have those last fingers stomped on, which makes them let go of the hope sooner (like finding out that the ex is in love with someone new). And maybe some people really can choose to let go, especially when they realize that the other person wasn't right for them, and treated them badly.
But for others it probably happens more gradually, at its own pace.
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