[Boundary Problem]

Something about this thread bothers me and I can't put my finger on it. It has been posted elsewhere on LS and good advice was given.

But in any event, here is my advice - if you actually want to solve the problem (as opposed to maintaining status quo)

1. If the anticipated pain of losing virginity terrifies you - consider talking to your family doctor and having an office procedure to have you "snipped" so to speak under a local anaesthetic. That way you can jump straight to the fun part.

2. If you don't like #1, consider going to a specialized sex therapist to make you open/comfortable talking about sex and becoming comfortable with your body. There could be some internal issues/hang ups that you don't realize you have.

You know - I just re-read your post, and I put my finger on the problem. You have only been dating him a year. You are in a long-distance relationship. And apparently you are engaged.

You aren't connected enough with him for you to want to lose your virginity. I think the problem is that he isn't living close to you (in the same town), and this is a psychological barrier. The engagement isn't enough protection. I don't think you want to lose your virginity - to be honest. You don't trust the situation is secure enough. That is my guess.

If this is a re-posting of the thread - the poster mentioned using a toothbrush to try to ease the transition. A toothbrush is an object, so you are "seen" to be working on the problem. You chose a tool that is so narrow and smooth - that it won't put your virginity at risk.