[Space Ritual]

Originally Posted by timbo1

Needed to let you all know what happened this morning when I talked to my wife about our situation. I'm currently even more confused than before and need to hear whether you think this is normal or if I'm in more trouble than I'd imagined.

I told my wife this morning that we needed to talk. I made all the points I had planned to like how I wasn't prepared to carry on being treated the way I was, and that she needed to either commit to our marriage and go NC with the OM or I'd get a divorse. I thought I held it together well!

My wife then took the wind out of my sails a little. She told me that she'd met with the OM on Thursday and told him that they couldn't keep contacting eachother and she was going to try and save our marriage. No more texts, emails, phone calls or meetings. This was obviously good to hear and was really the first time she'd said that she did want to make our marriage work. (Whether he'll back off or in not is another thing but not much I can do about that at the moment)

But... she said again how distant she felt from me and how she wasn't sure that we'd be able to sort things out even if we tried. She feels like she's fallen out of love with me and can't just pretend that she feels otherwise. SHe thought that we'd just end up in our old habits and seperate lives and didn't think I'd really be able to make her as happy as she felt with the OM.

It was a real kick in the teeth to hear that - even though sh'ed said most of it before . I think I expected her to bit a bit more enthusiastic about working things out between us. Instead it basically felt like she was saying that she didn't think we'd end up being happy in our marriage but giving it a go was the "right" thing to do.

Am I expecting too much? Should I be grateful that we've finally taken that first step? It just feels like she's going through the motions.

You are not going to like what I have to say, but its the truth. and the truth hurts.
She continues to make you twist in the wind. As I stated to you before, she will continue to do this to you as long as you allow her to. she has no intention of attempting a true reconciliation. Her evasive and unenthusiastic responses should be your final sign that its done between you two.

There is no going back now. she is already letting you know that her half hearted attempt at NC with the OM is just that...she will go back to him again and again.

It's beyond over...the only way you are going to even come close to getting her to see any consequence is to file for divorce. She knows she can do this and you will put up with it every time.

File as soon as possible and take control of your life.


Youv'e done all you can, and there is nothing more you can do