oh, and one of my favourite tips i like to share, if this really is about re-setting your phsyical relationship away from the spanking: go 'teenage' for a week (or however long it takes)...
put the 'swimsuit' rule in place - any areas reasonably covered by a swimsuit are off-limits (him: trunks, you: bikini - you want stomach accessible
)
if he needs a boundary /rule /safe-place, then tell him he has an hour of necking (see above re: yoghurt!), where his job is to actively enjoy the 'allowed' bits of your body, and your job is to passively and completely selfishly enjoy what he's up to... your *only* job is to provide some kind of ongoing feedback (tiny moans /gasps make sense) so he knows you're awake, and which bits you like more than others... if you need a bit of kink, you could always be blindfolded, which also sets the "he does, you respond" dynamic a bit more clearly if that would help you both..
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