second why is it always the women who "fall out of love"??? This is getting really old to read...
Thirdly ignore Lizzie.... She has a one tack mind and mantra that it there to scare every married man.....
Not sure why its the women more often.Just read today somewhere online where 59% of woman said they would leave their man if they were financially secured.What the He** is happening out there??
second why is it always the women who "fall out of love"??? This is getting really old to read...
Thirdly ignore Lizzie.... She has a one tack mind and mantra that it there to scare every married man.....
Ha.. stroke a nerve.. I am just posting from my personal experience.. and it's very similar to her and many.. many.. many other women... I don't know if she is having an affair.. I wasn't... but I was fantasizing about other men.. I also know lots of married women who have fell out of love with their H.. they just stay because they are married (how stupid) and because it's convenient (financially, for family's sake)... but they absolutely DO NOT feel anything for their H...
I am NOT here to scare every married man.. but if they get scared..it's because they know I'm right.. and it could be scary..
Oh.. got to think of it.. maybe his W is alcoholic... therefore the loss of libido.. oh.. and I don't know who's one track mind..
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If your marriage is in cardiac arrest, an affair can be a defibrillator.' - Mira Kirshenbaum
Ha.. stroke a nerve.. I am just posting from my personal experience.. and it's very similar to her and many.. many.. many other women... I don't know if she is having an affair.. I wasn't... but I was fantasizing about other men.. I also know lots of married women who have fell out of love with their H.. they just stay because they are married (how stupid) and because it's convenient (financially, for family's sake)... but they absolutely DO NOT feel anything for their H...
I am NOT here to scare every married man.. but if they get scared..it's because they know I'm right.. and it could be scary..
Oh.. got to think of it.. maybe his W is alcoholic... therefore the loss of libido.. oh.. and I don't know who's one track mind..
A # of posters here have one track minds... Be it to talk about sexless marriages (I will freely admit my part here), talk about the nasty repercussions of affairs, cheating spouses and to dump them and leave, to post about lousy husbands and wives....
You Lizzie basically tell people here that your wives will eventually "fall out of love", though often not necessarily their fault and fantasize about about other men, sex will become a chore and if they face up to it will leave you and discover their sexual identity....
You paint a sad picture that we (men) have absolutely no choice about this, that our spouses if honest, will admit that is what they are thinking, and it will happen..... Not once have you stated a single positive option or what a man can do to prevent it (as if we are responsible). Basically you tell us to accept it because it will blindside us eventually.....
Last edited by Toodamnpragmatic; 8th November 2009 at 1:13 PM..
I do believe that Lizzie is correct - there seems to be some physiological difference between the sexes and one side effect of that appears to be that the woman commonly loses her sexual desire for the man.
You seem to be living this very situation - granted not to the full extent - but close enough to drive you half crazy.
I read something interesting the other day - excerpt from a book about why women have sex. Said that if the man is helpful around the house and the woman sees him as being a good partner = turn on.
However if she sees him as doing it to be submissive = turn off.
You think your wife sees you sending her on a solo vacation as an act of kindness from an equal partner? Or do you think she quietly smiles while thinking that so long as she keeps you half out of your mind with sex deprivation you will keep desperately throwing money, trips, gifts, flowers, housework, romantic dinners and anything else you can think of her way - in a futile attempt to get her to love you the way you want to be loved.
Funny thing is TDP - even though I think many/maybe the majority of these situations are not fixable some of them are. And when we read about the occasional success story there are some common patterns. And they sure don't revolve around ever more elaborate and expensive ass kissing. Stop being mean to Lizzie because you aren't getting laid very often.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Toodamnpragmatic
A # of posters here have one track minds... Be it to talk about sexless marriages (I will freely admit my part here), talk about the nasty repercussions of affairs, cheating spouses and to dump them and leave, to post about lousy husbands and wives....
You Lizzie basically tell people here that your wives will eventually "fall out of love", though often not necessarily their fault and fantasize about about other men, sex will become a chore and if they face up to it will leave you and discover their sexual identity....
You paint a sad picture that we (men) have absolutely no choice about this, that our spouses if honest, will admit that is what they are thinking, and it will happen..... Not once have you stated a single positive option or what a man can do to prevent it (as if we are responsible). Basically you tell us to accept it because it will blindside us eventually.....
How friggin sad that you keeping flogging this theory and cackling at these poor sad males who are screwed and it is all over for them and they refuse to read the writing on the wall....
Hey congrats you have mem11363 on your side and he of all people, though he of all people does have sex, but seems to do as much if not more grovelling then many to get it.....
You Lizzie basically tell people here that your wives will eventually "fall out of love",
I am basically telling people that you cannot stay 'in love' all your life.. with ANYONE... passion goes and sometimes love goes with it.. it's a fine line.. an extremely fine line.. and yes.. from a lot of women, I've heard that sex WAS a chore after so many years (I'm not taking 2-3 years here...I'm talking about 10+ years, depending on people)... and it's no one's faut.. it's just like that.. it's life..
You paint a sad picture that we (men) have absolutely no choice about this, that our spouses if honest, will admit that is what they are thinking, and it will happen.....
Absolutely... men have NO choice... and I am absolutely sure that IF your spouses were honest.. they would tell you that there is NO more love.. only 'friendship' but methink they will NEVER admit it.. knowing their H would not take it well...
Not once have you stated a single positive option or what a man can do to prevent it (as if we are responsible). Basically you tell us to accept it because it will blindside us eventually....
To be totally honest.. there is NOTHING you can do... when love is gone.. it's tone... it will not come back... I don't care how much counselling, fighting, arguing, gifting, house working you do... it IS GONE...
What cause this.. I don't know.. what cause women to lose their sexual desire for their spouse.. it could be so many reasons.. and sometimes .. we can't even find a reason.. it's a slow process.. it doesn't happen overnight.. for some reason, men keep that desire most of their life.. and sometimes they still have to get it outside.. they NEED sex.. period.. NOT women.. (with the same man)..
Lizzie I like your picture too. I guess you have no young children in your home, I do and I think a family is very important to them. I told my wife we can stay in counciling until after the holidays and if nothing changes between us I will not fight her on our seperation. I really need to see if we can be fixed.
have you read anything the other posters wrote? please take action on the suggestions here... there is info you need to find out and sticking your head in the sand isn't going to help you. get busy, chop chop!
Lizzie I like your picture too. I guess you have no young children in your home, I do and I think a family is very important to them. I told my wife we can stay in counciling until after the holidays and if nothing changes between us I will not fight her on our seperation. I really need to see if we can be fixed.
Thank you... No I don't have young children at home.. and I agree.. family is extremely important.. but to be honest with you.. counselling will NOT do anything for you.. trust me.. it won't.. but if everything else is good between you.. then you can stay for the kids' sake.. not sure how you can handle that.. you will definitely need to make a choice..
live with her knowing she doesn't love you like she used to.. or live without her...
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