OP, I do feel for you, but, in that particular kind of pissing match with a woman, you will almost always lose.
Did she really say she wanted to marry you to 'hold onto you'? I ask because, to me, that statement was loaded with power for you to retain the status quo. What exactly 'spooked' you?
Do you fear marriage in general or was it just with her?
If she came back to you tomorrow, what would change?
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