[PinkToes]

Thank you, everyone. You're so right that I'm lucky to have friends & family who can help; the situation would be much more difficult otherwise. Thank you for reminding me of that.

It's funny because at first, I was determined to do it all alone. I've been fiercely independent since birth (my mom says I wanted to drive myself home from the maternity ward), and I tend to believe I can do anything without help.

So in a way, it's a good exercise for me to even have to ask for help, because it feels like weakness. Maybe that's part of the reason why it seems it would be easier to have a boyfriend looking out for me, because I wouldn't have to ask.

But I know the biggest thing is wishing I could have that loving care from a partner; the feeling that comes from knowing you can count on each other during the more difficult challenges. And there is an emotional support that just doesn't feel quite the same, coming from anyone else.

There was a couple in the doc's waiting room and she looked scared, and he was holding her hand and stroking her hair. And my (admittedly) self-absorbed gut reaction was envy. I do miss that kind of support.

But I know it could be much worse, the situation could be worse, and I'm very lucky to have people in my life who care enough to help. Thank you for reminding me of that.

And it means a lot to have LS to turn to at times like this. I love you all!

By the way, apparently the hospital has wi-fi in "various locations" but not in patient's rooms. So I'm going to have to decide whether going online is important enough to wander the halls, looking for a signal, in one of those hot rearview gowns. ;-)

Thanks, everyone.