[SincereOnlineGuy]

Originally Posted by LostTrueLove

Why cant i get over him? why!? He drives me crazy and tells me what to do and we fight all the time and he has no sence of humor. so why cant i get over him??!?!???

This is such a sweet post.


(if you ever come back to read this) You need to separate the part that is


"him"

from the part that is

"your emotional investment IN him"



It is so wonderful to feel yourself giving, and caring, and hoping for good things for the other person. There is nothing wrong with that wonderful will to feel those things, and THAT is what you don't want to walk away from... your emotional investment IN him.

The other things you describe, that are actually him, are the reasons why you broke up... in summary, because he wasn't fair enough to you.


You need to fall asleep at night understanding that you can and will continue to make those very same emotional investment in males for many years to follow. It will usually feel very good to be caring about someone so much.

It took a really mature person to grade him on his actions, and not just stay with him to satisfy your own feeling of wanting to keep sending your emotions in his direction.

Much of why you're so into him, is simply because he allowed you to know so many individual details about him.


In some ways, relationships are like porn, or like the internet...

We are given some teeny-tiny percentage OF a real person, and then our minds thrive on painting (perfection, in the two cases above) into the blank areas.

Dating your boyfriend was sort of like a "connect the dots" thing, where you were so happy drawing the lines from dot to dot, and then coloring/painting the previous blank areas, with things you now *knew* about him. You couldn't wait to fill-in more of the puzzle/painting.


That is so normal. And you are going to be fine.