Thank you fofiffs, its exactly that line of thinking that is keeping me from trying to reach for him. Ill admit I have also done some things in an effort to call his attention to me, but I dont think he paid them any mind. Sadly though I have never really made an honest attempt at communicating with him, I always did it in a backhanded way or in a way that was more trying to get him to get in touch with me, like I couldnt bring myself to go out on a limb, its so pathetic that I acted like that, and Im still in that position, afraid of exposing myself to open rejection after having broke his heart, even two years later! Ive grown up alot since. Your right that I should respect his wishes and think about his feelings too. I know he has every right to feel the way he does but I just wish I could get him to know how I feel atleast. Even if I just knew he thought about me some times the same way I think about him all the time would make me feel better. Easier said than done.
Well i'm not going to tell you what you should or should not do. But just try to put yourself in his shoes. What if the person you love cheated on you and left you afterwards and tries to contact you 2 years later. What would you do or how would you react? Would you want to relive that moment from 2 years ago all over again? Would you be able to trust that person again?
Yes some people are saying you have nothing to lose by contacting him. But what about him?
Two years later, I don't think he's going to be hurt either way. If she contacts him and he's over her, it will give him a nice opportunity to say, "you know, you screwed me over and I'm long past being over you - now, go away" and he can walk away with a nice sense of long-delayed closure.
However, if he still has feelings for her too, this might be the opportunity he's always dreamed would come.
I really don't see him being "hurt" by her two years later. Just my thoughts.
Two years later, I don't think he's going to be hurt either way. If she contacts him and he's over her, it will give him a nice opportunity to say, "you know, you screwed me over and I'm long past being over you - now, go away" and he can walk away with a nice sense of long-delayed closure.
However, if he still has feelings for her too, this might be the opportunity he's always dreamed would come.
I really don't see him being "hurt" by her two years later. Just my thoughts.
Eisenhower
Thats just my take on her situation. But ultimately its her decision in the end if she contacts him or not. And from my experience of my ex who cheated on me 4 yrs ago, I would never want her to contact me ever again. Yes she did try to contact me 3 yrs later but I completely ignored her. Why would I want somebody who I loved cheated on me back or try contacting me.
Two years later, I don't think he's going to be hurt either way. If she contacts him and he's over her, it will give him a nice opportunity to say, "you know, you screwed me over and I'm long past being over you - now, go away" and he can walk away with a nice sense of long-delayed closure.
However, if he still has feelings for her too, this might be the opportunity he's always dreamed would come.
I really don't see him being "hurt" by her two years later. Just my thoughts.
Eisenhower
The first part there is just one of many likely scenarios that is causing me to shy away from it. I think it would just make things worse for me if I knew he wanted nothing to do with me, but at the same time there is so much to be gained if he feels differently.
Well, look at it this way ... you hurt him very badly once. If you want him back, then exposing yourself to being hurt by him is what you'll have to do. Some might see this as justice for the hurt you put him through.
You put yourself in this situation ... but you can't always be in control. Sometimes being in love means getting hurt ... as he's already learned. Sometimes you have to take a chance.
Well i'm not going to tell you what you should or should not do. But just try to put yourself in his shoes. What if the person you love cheated on you and left you afterwards and tries to contact you 2 years later. What would you do or how would you react? Would you want to relive that moment from 2 years ago all over again? Would you be able to trust that person again?
Yes some people are saying you have nothing to lose by contacting him. But what about him?
Well it would definitely be hard. I dont want to pretend to know how it feels when I dont but I get what you mean. I guess the first thing I would think is what is the reasoning behind them wanting to get in touch with me, and why after two years. I would probably be suspicious of their motives. He is a very strong willed guy though, with strong character, I think he could trust me again if he wanted to and I think he would have gotten over the hurt by now, but as far as doing it for me that is a different story. I guess for him it probably all boils down to a couple things: what would he gain by trying again with someone whos already hurt him, and how does he know it would be any different this time around. To those two points I dont really have any good answer for. He has already had another serious relationship in the interim so thats also working against me because its shown him he can be happy with someone else and I am indeed replaceable.
I know it all seems so selfish of me but I wouldnt want it unless he really wanted it too. We were a really great couple once, we saw far, far more good times than bad. I guess maybe I just want that back, or even the chance of it being even better, but that doesnt matter if he doesnt want it too. Thats what I would like to find out... if he has thought about me at all and if he too has tried to imagine where wed be right now.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
Hybrid Mode
