[letter]

I have been going through a very complicated breakup the past few weeks and just feel i want to express my regrets incase anyone else is going through the same thing, it might not be right for your situation but might be right for somone.

the things ive learned

1) give them space, my gf of a year called me, right out of the blue to say it was over, Situation explained it was a descision she regretted but her actions after the breakup lead me to be unable to take her back.

I wish, when she told me, i simply said ok, thats how you feel, you know i still have feelings but i cant change your mind. I tried to argue the toss withing the first 48 hours, when it didnt go my way i got angry and refused to talk to her for a few weeks, eseentially she was too scared to contact (allthough i still feel you should in this time to fight for somone) i should have left the doors open for a longer period than i did.

i am impatient, and let this get to me, when somone wants to end things i cant emphasise more to give them space!

2) no contact works. Maby not in all situations but i still get contact from my ex to this day, who is seeing somone else, but still wants to contact for whatever reason. what you do when they do contact is your provacative.

3) if you want them back, dont act like the breakup has crushed you. This person you are close too, and used to sharing feelings with, but you have to remember that during a breakup, keep your cards to your chest. Actions are far more powerfull than words. if you make out the breakup has hit you as hard as it did then even if they want you back they will feel pressured to not upset you and essentially desire something fresh.

4) if it comes down to getting over them, delete them from facebook or msn your phone whatever. Ive come back drunk somenights wanting dearly to text my ex my i cant as i dont have her number. Its a blind strength. Deleteting them from facebook has been a godsend, i made it clear to them it wasent out of spite but a move to get over them. I know it has left them alienated and pushed out which honestly leaves a bit of satisfaction on my part that i am out of there reach.

Anyways i hope this makes help to some, what gets me about my first big breakup is the regret i feel for the relationship, but one i wouldnt have realised unless the breakup would have happend. I took it hard. But everytime i think about it i just know i have to dig deep and move forward.

if you save face by showing you dont care, eventually you wont and that will help the moving on process.

xx hope this is of help to somone